Grandparents must heed rules to see baby
Q Our son married a woman who follows a regime of eating only natural foods, wearing only clothing of natural fibres, and medications and vac-resisting
cines. That was her business, which we respected, until our granddaughter was born a year ago. The child’s every activity is scrutinized and all “negative” materials and foods barred.
The result, at age one, is that she can’t visit our house because she isn’t allowed to sit or crawl on our floors (our broadloom isn’t 100 per cent wool), and can’t eat most of our food (it’s also “too much bother” to bring their own).
Most upsetting, she can’t be held by us because our soaps and body lotions aren’t all unscented and organic, and she’s also unhappy about our clothing touching the child.
On the vaccination issue, we tried to discuss the social responsibility of everyone — to protect against infectious through being inocu-diseases lated — so that people not only don’t get sick, but are also not carriers. However, despite the official debunking of the study that gave a flawed report linking vaccines to autism, she insists there must’ve been some in truth and she’s not risk-basis ing her baby. We want to see our granddaughter and don’t know
how to deal with all this.
Excluded Grandparents
A This is not simple territory to navigate. It’s not possible to argue against her choices; she’s made a study of them and rightly, or wrongly, they’ve become her solid beliefs. Most important, you want to be part of your grandchild’s life.
Do some research, change what you can — e.g. visit at her home, buy the kinds of presents she appreciates, perhaps even buy yourselves one set of natural-fibre shirt and pants, to show her the respect she’s insisting on.
The vaccine issue is contentious and divisive. Hopefully her own research will cause her to rethink, especially after the recent measles outbreak when parents became more aware of how dangerous that disease can be.