A few debating tips for the leaders
These handy dos and don’ts will help you get through the process, writes Chris Lackner.
No more practising looking statesmanlike in front of a mirror. No more prep time. No more “do over” answers. No more asking Laureen to put on a fake beard and engage in a mock debate at the dinner table.
The Maclean’s National Leaders Debate takes place Aug. 6, marking the first time party heads will square off this election year.
To help out all contenders, here are some debating dos and don’ts:
DON’TS
Admit mistakes? Never: You’re not under oath. If an opponent’s attack hits you where it hurts, deflect with sheer nonsense. Something like, “I think the real issue here is that my opponents plan to turn Algonquin Park into Jurassic World. Bill C-51 won’t be much help with bloodthirsty dinosaurs marching down Canada’s main streets.”
Get hung up on looking prime
ministerial: We live in a world where Game of Thrones is illegally downloaded by billions; scheming tyrants are trendy. Look like you’re about to order Ned Stark’s head lopped off or plot the downfall of a rival leader’s family. Don’t be listless. Project that Machiavellian charisma!
Cram: Throw that briefing book out the window before the debate. Just go out there and be yourself. Unless “yourself ” is awfully boring or unsettling. Then cram.
Numbers: Minimize the math. Popularity contests haven’t changed since high school. When was the last time a member of the math club was elected head of anything (other than the math club)?
Sound like a professor or lawyer — especially if you are one.
Zinger overkill: Don’t get ahead of yourself! We know you’ve been practising your well-crafted attack sound bites for weeks. But not everyone has a Brian Mulroney “You had an option, sir” moment in them. Don’t force it.
Picture your audience naked: It never calms nerves. Plus, that isn’t what moderator Paul Wells signed up for.
DOS
Organize mock debates: Pick a good sparring partner. Just because you think your rival is “dumber than a bag of hammers” doesn’t mean you should debate one.
Be funny: There’s a reason why single people always say they’re looking for “someone with a sense of humour.” (If you’re not funny, then go after the “scheming tyrant” demo.)
Bring props: Demonstrate your points. Suggestions: hand puppets of your rivals; something you can break dramatically over your podium while saying, “That’s what our economy looks like.” Or a picture of Eve Adams (a useful weapon against at least half the leaders on stage).
Try to win over “the kids”: Younger generations are less likely to vote, so talk to them in a language they can understand. Jack Layton used the term “hashtag fail” in a 2011 debate. So maybe try name-dropping The Hunger Games somehow (e.g. “His policy is better suited for the Capitol in Panem”) or answer questions via Taylor Swift lyrics (e.g. “Players gonna play, play, play, play, play. And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake.”)
Colours: Always wear something blue — if not your suit, then your tie or pocket square — because it’s soothing and trustworthy. For those with lively party colours like red or orange, don’t overdo it. You don’t want to look like Willy Wonka or Don Cherry.
Gimmick: You need one to be memorable. Maybe answer every question in the form of a question, or with a Yoda quote (“Do or do not. There is no try.”) — or how about in haiku form? “Make me your PM/or we will become like Greece/he’s just not ready.”
Time management: Short answers, please. You don’t want be cut off in mid...
Stay hydrated: Drink lots of water. Mix that with something stiff to take the edge off (unless you’re Elizabeth May, in which case, don’t risk anything that could take the edge off ).
Eat light: You can’t separate your lies and half-truths from your empty promises with a Hy’s steak in your belly.
Bring something old, something new, something borrowed
and something blue: It works for brides, why not aspiring prime ministers? (Aren’t you basically trying to get the country to commit long-term?) The old part
Can a man with facial hair really be entrusted with an economy?
is easy. Most of your ideas. But bring one new idea to table just to keep people awake. Something borrowed? Again, easy. Just steal your competitors’ best idea and pretend it’s your own (if you’re Liberal, this will come naturally). We already covered the blue.
Central message: Pick one; find a way to include a variation on said theme in every answer. (e.g. “I bet his pet cats can’t even meow without clearing it through the PMO first,” “Can a man with facial hair really be entrusted with an economy?” or, “Do you really want to elect a man who looks like he could go undercover in a high school debate team?” Chris Lackner is an Ottawa-based freelance journalist. His weekly Pop Forecast appears in the Citizen.