Astronauts and pirates and Gaga — oh, my!
Here is what’s on the radar screen in TV, music and film for the coming week:
MOVIES
Big release on Oct. 9: Pan Big picture: Turns out, long before Peter Pan became a creepy, pointy-eared, unaging child abductor, he himself was stolen away to Neverland. This is Pan’s origin story, the tale of a rebellious London orphan (Levi Miller) kidnapped by Blackbeard on a magical, flying ship. Stranded in a new land full of fairies, pirates and tribal warriors, Pan learns to fly — literally and figuratively. Along the way, he befriends James Hook (Garrett Hedlund) — destined to replace Blackbeard as the mystical land’s big baddie — and Tiger Lily (Rooney Mara). Hugh Jackman chews up so much scenery as Blackbeard that you half expect to spot flora in his facial hair. Forecast: This Neverland is a visual feast and will cast a spell over audiences. Expect other Disney origin stories to follow: Genie, the story of how Aladdin’s wish-granting pal got stuck in a bottle; Pinocchio: The Sapling Years; 2 Dalmatians, the touching canine romance before a lifetime of exhaustion and regret.
TV
Big event: American Horror Story: Hotel (Oct. 7, FX Canada, 10 p.m.) Big picture: The Countess (Lady Gaga) makes Norman Bates look like a boy scout and The Vampire Lestat look like a vegetarian. The mysterious fang-free bloodsucker and proprietor of the Hotel Cortez is committed to customer service — that is, servicing her patrons’ veins and arteries. The hotel, built by a crafty serial killer named James March (Evan Peters), was constructed to conceal and propagate evil activity. Secret rooms, hidden passageways, torture chambers and peepholes abound — no wonder everything from demons and ghosts to bogeymen are ordering in room service. Today’s astute traveller already knows to be afraid of the complimentary hotel breakfast; here, they could end up on the menu. The serial drama brings back regulars like Kathy Bates, Sarah Paulson, Chloë Sevigny and Angela Bassett. While irreplaceable frontwoman Jessica Lange is gone, casting Gaga in the lead delivered plenty of buzz. It makes me wonder if an all-musician cast can save next season’s True Detective. Cop partner ideas: Taylor Swift and Kanye West; Bruce Springsteen and Courtney Love as rough-and-tumble Jersey investigators; the May-December, all-Canadian pairing of Justin Bieber and Neil Young. Forecast: Gaga’s monsters aren’t so little anymore; they’ve grown up and checked into the Hotel Cortez. AHS: Hotel will cause you many sleepless nights. (I can’t wait for Canadian Horror Story: The Hockey Sweater, about an earnest young Habs fan mistakenly sent a Maple Leafs’ jersey and then haunted by the ghosts of their 50 years of futility and ineptitude. Truly chilling.) Honourable mention: The Walking Dead (Oct. 11, AMC). Rick Grimes and his merry-less men and women are back to face off against zombies and the dregs of humanity. The 90-minute season première promises extra blood and gore. But this season, I’m really hoping they cure the zombie virus, and use their newfound weaponry skills to open up one of those hipster axe-throwing spots that are all the rage — and maybe add archery to the mix. Daryl can teach college kids how to notch a crossbow while hopped up on craft brews. Happy ending for all.
MUSIC
Interplanetary release: Chris Hadfield (Space Sessions: Songs From a Tin Can). Nobody knows how to prolong 15 minutes of fame better than Canada’s omnipresent space cadet. This 12-track album, recorded on the International Space Station makes you wonder if Hadfield did any “astronaut stuff” during his stint orbiting the Earth. I expect there will be more space mission products: the recipe book Space Cuisine: Cooking From a Tin Can; Universal Poetry: Haikus from a Tin Can; the aerobics video Space Routines: Cardio from a Tin Can; and Cosmo Cosmopolitans: Cocktails From a Tin Can (which would explain a lot). Big releases on Oct. 9: City and Colour (If I Should Go Before You), Selena Gomez (Revival) Big picture: After collaborating with Pink, Canadian singer-songwriter Dallas Green heads back to the City on his colourful new album. It includes the sprawling, nine-minute track Woman — clearly The Girl from 2008’s Bring Me Your Love is all grown up. Speaking of, former Belieber Selena Gomez looks to complete her trek from teenybopper to adult pop queen. The 23-year-old shows artistic growth on her latest effort, delving into disco and R&B sounds — not to mention getting suggestive on tracks like Good for You, in which she brags about leaving her “dress a mess on the floor.” Eat your heart out, Justin. Forecast: Green’s album is poised for more love at the Juno Awards. Meanwhile, Gomez will earn some critical love — possibly a career first. On a side note: I shouldn’t be so hard on Hadfield. The Pope is releasing a rock album in November. Seriously. No holy word of a lie. Look it up.) Honourable mention: Corb Lund (Things That Can’t Be Undone); Toby Keith (35 MPH Town). A bona fide Albertan cowboy with a classic alt-country stomp versus Keith’s wafer thin shlock-country and patriotic Pablum. Strange that the better Americana is from north of the border.