‘At first, I found it empowering’

Sidow, now 29, chuckles at the memory.

“He obviously thought it was something abnormal,” she says.

Sidow decided to start wearing the face covering 10 years ago, to the horror of her parents. She was 19 and would wear it for seven years before finally casting it aside.

It was, she says, part of a harmless spiritual exploration based on her lack of understanding of her religion.

“I wore it in the first place because I thought it was a religious obligation,” she says. “I was also going through a lot of soul-searching — trying to find more meaning in my life and showing my gratitude to God.

“At first, I found it empowering and was hoping that along the way it would help me to grow spiritually, but ultimately it was just a burden.”

Aside from the ninja and Walmart encounters, Sidow says she encountered little hostility, aside from the occasional, “You’re in Canada now,” remark from passersby.

The burden was in daily mundane activities and in knowing that, despite any negative reaction, behind the veil there was a person with good intentions, trying to become better.

“Eating outside of the house — trying to get food inside your mouth was one of the biggest challenges,” she says. “And the simple concept of going outside for fresh air. You’re never really outside. You’re always contained within.”

Sidow came to Canada from Somalia with her family when she was three years old, went to high school at Lisgar Collegiate and studied health science at the University of Ottawa with the intention — currently on hold — of becoming a doctor.

She is one of seven grown children raised in a moderately religious family and has volunteered at the Mission, Shepherds of Good Hope and at churches and synagogues around Ottawa.

“I love helping people,” she says, “and I love learning about other religions.”

Her father, a pilot in Somalia, has worked in high-tech and currently drives a taxi.

“The niqab is foreign to my parents,” she says. “It isn’t part of their culture and they are also very well aware of what’s going on in the world with radicalization and extremism.

“I probably should have done it differently, but when I decided to wear the niqab I didn’t consult my parents,” she adds. “It was a complete surprise to them. My dad thought I was being radicalized and he was almost ready to call the police to say people were radicalizing his daughter.”

In retrospect, Sidow admits she had a simplistic “black and white” version of Islam taught by religious conservatives and was ultimately persuaded during classes in Islam jurisprudence with Ottawa Imam Mohamad Jebra that the niqab had a lot to do with cultural practice, but nothing to do with religious obligation.

(Jebra says niqab use is declining and personally knows of 26 Ottawa women who have stopped wearing them).

After almost seven years behind the veil, Sidow decided she’d had enough.

“All these years I had been wearing the niqab thinking it was beloved by God and bringing me closer to God,” she says. “So if it wasn’t bringing me benefit I decided I wasn’t going to pursue it.”

Sidow says she “kind of understands” where Conservative Leader Stephen Harper is coming from with his stance that women shouldn’t wear a niqab during a citizenship ceremony, but says prohibiting the niqab isn’t the correct solution.

“I don’t see the niqab as beneficial,” she says, “but at the same time if it’s what somebody wants to, I don’t know if it’s the right approach to prohibit them from expressing themselves.

“For the most part their intentions are sincere and they are regular people like me,” she adds. “They aren’t doing it for malicious reasons. Hopefully, along the way they will educate themselves and come to change their minds. Prohibiting them might result in them finding more radical ways to express themselves.”