New beau now has cold feet
Our connection was amazing from the start. Then he blew me off for a couple of weeks. When we reconnected, he admitted that he got cold feet.
He’d ended a relationship seven months prior, recently moved, was undergoing bankruptcy, spending long days at work and time with his son.
We both admit that neither of us can deny what we feel for each other. He joked, “Well I can tryyyy to deny it.” However, the last time we were together, he said he doesn’t know if he wants to fall in love again (he was hurt) and isn’t sure when he’d be ready for a real relationship. Yet he couldn’t look me in the eyes.
He also admitted that he has “some walls” but he’s also acknowledged I’ve been slowly knocking down those walls.
He’s a little insecure about his financial situation, but this doesn’t bother me, and I’ve told him so. He has anxiety because of stresses he puts on himself and past hurt.
I do whatever I can to make him feel safe with me, relaxed and non-pressured so that he opens up more and sees how wonderful it can be. But I’m having a hard time, not seeing him often enough to keep him in this comfortable environment.
I accept him for who and what he is, flaws and all. And that’s what his past relationships never allowed him to be — HIMSELF. What do I do to get through to him? Falling In Love
When you have to convince a person to stay with you, the result is often still insecure — on your part, more than his.
He’s set the boundaries — his business, his past hurt and his son. Your role, in this set-up, is to keep reassuring him, coddling him, ignoring things that could affect you if you convince him to stay together. But what’s he doing for you besides your making a project of winning him over?
Use this time to look more closely and realistically at what you have besides an attraction (albeit one he’s far more able to delay and distance).
More time apart — suggested by you — is what might get through to him. In other words, you’re not prepared to wait forever, so he’s the one who might lose out.