Arm fans with swag and you can expect trouble

Don’t feed the animals: It will remain one of life’s little mysteries: why it never occurred to the Philadelphia Flyers’ marketing wizards that arming a notoriously unruly fan base with 19,000-plus hand-held missiles might not end well.

Add a no-show by the local heroes in a playoff series they already trailed 2-0, and what you got Monday night in Philly was a shower of white plastic light-up bracelets — meant as keepsakes for fans in memory of the Flyers’ late owner, Ed Snider — launched from the stands onto the ice surface.

Mr. Snider might not approve, someone said, but the guy who once signed the Broad Street Bullies’ paycheques would surely understand mayhem. Insult to injury: One of the bracelets bounced off the cheek of Washington’s Dmitry Orlov as he was being treated on the bench for facial cuts received when he was run headfirst into the boards by Flyers’ Pierre-Edouard Bellemare moments earlier. Bellemare received a one-game suspension from the league for his indiscretion. Perhaps the pitcher was angry that Orlov didn’t have the decency to suffer a broken neck.

Now, Flyers fans are being savaged for their behaviour, though far more of them held onto their bracelets than tossed them. And Philly is, predictably, getting smeared for another example of the often misguided passion of its sports fans in general.

But really: Why would any team, anywhere, give the crowd throwable objects, and then act shocked at the outcome? A hardy tradition: One night after the Flyers fiasco, the New York Rangers also handed out light-up bracelets, perhaps counting on their fans to resist throwing them, to show those savages in Philly what real maturity looks like.

You wouldn’t want to make a living betting on those odds, long-term.

A small percentage of fans are apt to throw stuff at the targets of their wrath, that’s just how it is. Or just throw it because they’ve had a few beers and it feels good.

So, here’s a pro tip for future freebies: Do as the CFL’s late, unlamented Sacramento Gold Miners did. Don’t give away actual pickaxes, go with the Nerf model. (Highly sensible, considering Kerwin Bell was their quarterback.)

Handy rule of thumb: Tshirts good, lawn darts bad. Outrage: The boys on the NBC hockey panel were seriously upset by the Bellemare hit, especially Jeremy Roenick, a former Flyer. “This disgusts me in the biggest way,” Roenick said. “I’ve said it time and time again. The lack of respect of guys hitting people from behind three feet from the boards, someone is gonna break their neck one day and then they’ll make changes.”