Crush on resident likely just a fantasy

Q I work as a concierge, and really admire a resident here who’s a university student.

I want to date her. Once she was passing by, and after greeting her like other residents, I told her “your hairstyle is nicer than your usual hairstyle.” She gave me a big laugh. My conflict is that I don’t want to cross the line in fear of losing my job. I’m not sure of her feelings. Maybe I’m only daydreaming that she likes me.

How can I make sure that she likes me? I thought of giving her a flower, but if she accepts it, it won’t mean that she loves me.

I can’t tell her frankly that I like her. I wish I could communicate my feelings. Conflicted Concierge

A The conflict between your job and your “daydream” is no small issue. You’re expected, as part of your role in the building where she lives, to protect her from strangers and difficulties, NOT to come on to her.

If she gave you a signal that she wanted to date, you’d still have to discuss this with your employer, to make sure it’s acceptable.

Otherwise, you’d risk making her nervous if you started talking about feelings.

You don’t really know her. She may be nice and friendly when she sees you, but wondering if she likes you only shows that she’s become a fantasy to you. Treat her the same as all other residents.

Read Ellie Monday to Saturday.