Should I date an older man?

Q I’m single, just turned 25. I met a very attractive, nice man who works in the same industry (different company).

He’s a corporate manager team leader. I’m a mid-level manager.

We have similar family values and are of the same Christian sect. We grew up in the same neighbourhood.

I have feelings for him and I see he feels the same way. Over five months of friendship, we’ve been speaking more frequently (every other day), and seeing each other at least once weekly.

He wants to spend more time with me, but I’m hesitant. There’s a very large age gap between us and I’m worried about what others might think. He’s 42.

If we do enter into a relationship, I know he’d want to settle down soon. I would want kids much later (about three to five years from now). Am I right to be hesitant about leading him on further? Conflicted

A You’ve just neatly presented all the reasons for walking away:

You don’t feel ready for the relationship he’d want. You care a lot about what others think. You fear an age-gap “stigma” that people in love usually try to ignore.

You have led him on through the frequency of your contact.

It’s time to tell him the same things you’ve said here, openly and honestly. Read Ellie Monday to Saturday.