The famed Rideau Canal? Overblown and overhyped
Summer or winter, it’s a playground that just doesn’t quite deliver
OK, Ottawa, time for some tough talk: The Rideau Canal Skateway is Ottawa’s most overrated and overhyped bit of infrastructure, especially when it comes to attracting tourists.
Come skate on our thing! But it might be closed! Actually, it probably will be!
Oh sure, it’s cool in principle, a 7.8-kilometre skating rink. Except for the fact that the ice quality is, often, terrible.
It’s outlandishly crowded once you get anywhere near downtown. Makes sense, as Ottawa Tourism brags that an average 19,000 people are on the ice every day — that is, when it’s open. All that enthusiasm, only to have Ottawa’s insane weather swings reduce it to a slushy mess. Last year, it was open for only 18 days, its shortest season ever. It averages 51, not too shabby, I’ll concede, and the 2015 season set the record at 59 interrupted days. That’s still not many days, and we don’t know how many of those days boasted ice without deep cracks and bumps every two feet.
If we’re choosing things to brag about, man, the pickings sure must be slim in this town. It’s quite possible that Ottawa’s other claim to fame — the Beavertail — actually is the most overrated and overhyped thing in the city. Having not actually eaten a Beavertail — they don’t strike me as particularly appetizing — I’ll have to take other people’s word for it.
Combined, as they often are, these two offerings seem good for little more than a first date, with only middling chances of getting smooched at the end. The Rideau Canal is a big pile o’ meh, despite its UNESCO heritage status.
It’s an engineering marvel, we can agree on that, and it’s a nifty bit of history, made all the more appealing because its purpose was to outwit the Americans. It’s beautiful to run along, true, and has just enough of that watery tang on a warm summer day to evoke memories of being alongside waterways that don’t have roads on either side or a distinct lack of nature in the surroundings.
But what else is it good for? Canoeing, I suppose. I don’t much go in for canoeing when there isn’t a strong current to do half the work. Now, it’s true (at least, I’m assuming it’s true) that cruising down the canal on your luxurious boat does make for an enjoyable afternoon. Not being of the caviar-and-champagne demographic, that’s not an experience I’ve had, and it’s hard to imagine that anywhere near a significant percentage of Ottawans can lay claim to having done so.
But the biggest failing of the Rideau Canal in summer is that you can’t swim in it; that’s more or less a prerequisite for being a halfway decent body of water. (OK, there is a beach at Mooney’s Bay, and the waterway out of the urban area and toward Kingston does boast swim and camp sites). Then again, given the blue-green algae, you probably don’t want to.
All of which is to say, it’s not that the Rideau Canal — or the skateway — are bad, it’s just that they aren’t really that good, certainly not when building a list of things about Ottawa that are fantastic. Admittedly, the canal has improved somewhat with added launch pads for water toys, making it more accessible. More stuff, whether it’s faux beaches or volleyball courts or restaurants and lounges, would be a tremendous improvement along its banks.
The fact of the matter is the canal, in winter or summer, is a playground of limited value. Coming to Ottawa? Spend your time in the museums and galleries and visiting Parliament. A stroll along the canal is surely worth it — but Venice, this is not.