’Patience, patience, patience’ or how to stay happily married
Annick Pascal, a teacher and the daughter of a general, met the young air force pilot who would become her husband on her 21st birthday.
On her 84th birthday, she’ll celebrate 60 years of marriage to André Pascal, who declares she’s every bit as lovely as that first time they met.
The Pascals will be one of about 135 couples who have been married between five and an amazing 70 years who will renew their wedding vows Sunday during a special mass at Notre Dame Cathedral Basilica, presided over by Archbishop Terrence Prendergast.
We sat down with the Pascals to hear how they met and what keeps them wanting to celebrate after a relationship spanning more than six decades, four countries, two children and five grandchildren.
Q How did you meet?
Annick: It started in 1953. We were both in (Allied-occupied) Germany. Andre was a pilot with the French air force. I was working at the French lycée .... I was going to celebrate my 21st birthday. My friends arranged a little party for me and invited Andre and his friends from the air force base. André: I came with my girlfriend at the time, who was a German lady, very nice actually. We used to play tennis together. I can still remember, very, very definitely — (Annick) was bubbling around as she usually does. That was it. I said I need to know this young lady more.
Q How did he propose?
Andre: It was in Saint-Germain l’Auxerrois, a church in Paris right across from the Louvre, where we were both attending mass. I asked her, ‘Will you marry me?’ I will let her tell you what she answered. Annick: “What’s wrong with you?” I was crying because I thought he was going to go by himself to Canada. He didn’t even give a hint of taking me along. When he said that, I was so surprised. It didn’t take me long (to say yes) but I was not ready for it.
Q What was the wedding like?
A They were 24 and 26. It was in Montreal on a cold day just after Christmas of 1957. They had just arrived in Canada and their friends — all four of them — were on hand as they were married by the secretary of Cardinal Paul-Emile Leger. Dark-haired Annick wore a dress made by her mother back in France but neither family could make the trans-Atlantic trip to see her marry André, who worked for airlines and later what’s now called Global Affairs Canada.
Q Why do you want to celebrate this milestone on Sunday?
André: Because we are still together. We went through some very, very difficult times. Like everybody will tell you when you’re married, for better and for worse. We had a lot of worse but we have a lot of better, too. And we discovered we were actually made one for the other. It has taken quite a lot of patience, I must admit. We have developed a very deep partnership. We rely on each other all the time. We share almost everything. Annick: (Laughing) I think everything — unless you keep something inside I don’t know about.
Q What’s the secret to a long and happy marriage?
Annick: Be patient, be understanding. Don’t judge the first reaction. Sometimes we react angrily, we say words that we are going to regret later on. Don’t jump to each other. And by any chance it happens, reconcile quickly. Don’t let it steam up on the back burner. André: You never had to do that, chéri? Annick: Uh-huh, I did.
Like everybody will tell you when you’re married, for better and for worse. We had a lot of worse but we have a lot of better, too.
Q Any other advice?
André: Patience, patience, patience and co-operation. And just love each other. We do. Annick: Of course love is the cement. Otherwise, it doesn’t work. André: When you look at your spouse and say, ‘There she is.’ You look at her and think ‘She has accepted me, she has absolutely survived me, she is a saint.’ Annick: (Laughing) I think the halo doesn’t fit anymore, my head is too swollen!
mgillis@postmedia.com