Drug abuser won’t change until you do
My live-in partner of three years is kind, hard working and affectionate.
I wasn’t aware of his cocaine habit until after we moved in together. On weekends, he’ll stay out with drug-using friends. He’ll return the next morning high and jittery. But my crying, disappointment and feeling let down won’t change his behaviour.
Each time he tries to assure me that it was “the last time” and apologizes, I feel empty inside.
I’ve been patient and loving with someone who’s in denial, and won’t seek help. Otherwise, we have a loving relationship and I don’t want to give up on him. But I’m unhappy. Cocaine Problem
Stop being in denial, too. He doesn’t change because you’re always there when he returns.
He may never end his drug habit and that’s not the stable, healthy partnership you want.
Tell him it’s over. He’ll either want you more than the drug, enough to try to end his addiction. Or he won’t.
I was abused by the doctor when I went for a treatment for human papillomavirus (HPV).
When I realized it, I was shocked. From talking to other women at programs for moms with preschoolers, all coming from other countries as I do, I realized I wasn’t the only victim of the same doctor.
None of us had the courage to speak up. Also, we stayed silent because this is a very delicate subject.
I changed to another doctor … it had to be a female. I could not trust any other male doctor with all due respect, though I know there are great male doctors out there.
I thought I was over this issue but I wasn’t. It’s terrible to have been just another number in somebody’s life, and to know there are men out there who only want sex. I feel sorry for the doctor’s wife.
Do I have any chance to get past this obstacle? Abused and Untrusting
You still have the important chance to report the doctor who abused you.
This is a responsible route to protect other women from being victimized by him and your own logical path to not blanket all men with distrust.
You’ve found your voice by writing this email, and you can use it with significance, not fear.
Encourage the other moms to join you in reporting him to the police and the doctors’ professional association for your jurisdiction.