Reader feed­back on dogs, ba­bies

Ottawa Citizen - - YOU - EL­LIE TESHER Read El­lie Mon­day to Satur­day. Email el­lie@thes­ Fol­low @el­liead­vice.

FEED­BACK: On how birth con­trol sab­o­tage by women af­fects men. Reader: “Some women be­lieve it’s their right to get preg­nant when­ever and by which man they choose, no mat­ter if he doesn’t want it. Even with my stated med­i­cal rea­sons for not want­ing kids of my own, one woman I dated tried to con­vince me it would be a good idea to have a child with her. Even­tu­ally she moved on, know­ing I wasn’t go­ing to give in.

“Sadly, women to­day want the equal op­por­tu­ni­ties their grand­moth­ers and great-grand­moth­ers fought for, but also have ev­ery­thing pro­vided for them.” El­lie: Your right not to have chil­dren isn’t at is­sue. A woman might wish you would change your mind, but that doesn’t mean she’s only af­ter fi­nan­cial sup­port.

Of course, a woman who pur­pose­fully sab­o­tages birth con­trol is de­ceit­ful. But to gen­er­al­ize that “women to­day … want ev­ery­thing pro­vided” is a gross, prej­u­diced ex­ag­ger­a­tion.

FEED­BACK: On grand­par­ents who won’t babysit a cou­ple’s two dogs. Reader 1: “Maybe there’s a very good rea­son why other peo­ple’s dogs are wel­come at the fam­ily cot­tage and not these dogs. Maybe they’re not prop­erly trained or are hard to con­trol. Why is it the re­spon­si­bil­ity of the fu­ture grand­par­ents to take care of the dogs? It’s the re­spon­si­bil­ity of the dog own­ers to make ap­pro­pri­ate ar­range­ments.” Reader 2: “If other dogs are wel­come at the grand­par­ents’ cot­tage ... any prob­lem with these spe­cific dogs should have been part of the dis­cus­sion. The grand­par­ents are ea­ger and will­ing to help with their new grand­child, even buy­ing a crib to keep at their place. That sug­gests it’s the dogs at is­sue, and per­haps not be­ing ad­dressed for fear of reprisal. This was sug­gested by the men­tion of ‘with­hold­ing ac­cess to a grand­child’ be­cause some­one doesn’t wel­come his or her pets.”

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