Men share their pain

Ottawa Citizen - - YOU - EL­LIE TESHER Read El­lie Mon­day to Satur­day. el­lie@thes­tar.ca

The #MeToo move­ment is not only about women and girls. Men and boys have suf­fered sex­ual as­saults, sex­ual abuse. Here, men are shar­ing their pain.

#MeToo: From ages six to 12, my brother who was seven years older so­licited my par­tic­i­pa­tion in sex­ual touch­ing, mu­tual mas­tur­ba­tion, naked­ness. Se­crecy was sworn.

The re­sults: Shy­ness as a kid in school, never feel­ing part of any­thing. Seek­ing sim­i­lar ex­pe­ri­ences with my friends and re­jected. I turned to al­co­hol at 13. It was dif­fi­cult to date girls. When I mar­ried, I had lots of bar­ri­ers in sex, only went through the mo­tions. Ca­reer un­ful­fill­ing, dif­fi­cult with author­ity — un­less I held the reins. Sep­a­rated. Quit job, abuse “re­mem­bered” all within days. Went to Al­co­holics Anony­mous, still sober af­ter 13 years. Stuff that still dwells: A blurry line be­tween the feel­ings of like, love and lust.

MeToo: I was around five. A friend’s dad was drop­ping us kids off from an out­ing and asked me to wait in the car. Once alone, he started to very creep­ily rub my leg while talk­ing to me. He kept rub­bing higher and higher up my thigh ... it makes me shud­der just to re­mem­ber it. I was in shock. I re­mem­ber feel­ing like puk­ing. Thank­fully, I some­how knew that this was wrong and per­verted and be­fore he could re­act or stop me, I got out of the car faster than I’ve maybe ever moved and ran into my house.

I never told my par­ents about this. The mem­ory has never gone away. He never showed up again.

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