It’s time for boyfriend to stop his lying

Q I thought my boyfriend was perfect, but recently discovered that he’s been lying to me about many things.

He lied about contact with his ex throughout our relationship. He lied about his past relationship history.

I’m now noticing that he also lies about little things. He’ll deny this and try to make me feel I’m remembering it all wrong.

I’ve felt betrayed when he chooses his ex’s feelings over mine. He doesn’t have proper boundaries.

He accepts gifts from her. I feel he’s continuing to lead her on as he’s never mentioned that he has a girlfriend.

I care so much for him but now I never know what’s real or isn’t.

I’ve already had multiple calm conversations with him about these issues, explaining how this makes me feel. But there’s no real resolution.

I want to feel that I’m being respected because I’m respectful to him.

What can I do?

Upset and Disappointed

A Being “respectful” to someone who persistently lies, sends the wrong message that you’ll continue to put up with it.

Be clear. You will not accept 1) future lies; 2) being “gaslighted” to doubt your own memory; 3) being hidden as his girlfriend.

Add it up, and recognize that your boyfriend IS leading on his ex, and you too, by making sure he can be the one to choose whenever he wishes.

Time for Truth or Consequences.

The only logical “resolution” would be that he informs her that he’s in a relationship and stops lying to you.

If this doesn’t happen, the consequence is that your relationship ends.

Staying together otherwise will keep you in a fog of distrust and suspicion. Don’t let this happen.