GOING SILENT ON HOCKEY PLAYER WAS A GOOD CALL

Q A few years ago, at the age of 19, I went out with my girlfriends — we were all into partying then.

We ended up at the same bar as some local hockey players. Three of them hit on the three of us. I ended up having a onenight stand, as did the others.

The next day my friend who had been there said that she knew for a fact that my “date” had a serious girlfriend.

I felt awful.

Why didn’t she tell me beforehand?

I didn’t want to have sex with someone else’s guy.

Besides, I’d rarely done this sort of thing and haven’t since. I wanted to forget it immediately.

But he sent me a couple of really dirty texts, which I didn’t answer.

Then his girlfriend sent me an angry message. I was horrified and embarrassed, so I deleted it too.

I didn’t want her to accuse me of trying to “steal” her boyfriend when I never wanted to see him again.

Now I sometimes wonder, if I should’ve just said, “Yes, he fully came onto me first, and I didn’t know he had a girlfriend. Your guy is a cheater.”

I probably would’ve been doing her a favour, though I have no idea if they’re still together.

Still Uncomfortable

A It’s a question that periodically arises in this column: Should you “out” a cheater?

The responses from readers have always varied widely.

Some feel very strongly that if the cheater’s married and has children, the spouse should be told.

Then it’s up to him or her, how to handle it.

Of course, it risks a friendship to be the one bearing bad news.

Others feel it’s none of anyone else’s business to snitch and possibly break up a couple.

The partners may even have an “arrangement” you don’t know about and they’ll both resent you for interfering.

In this case, you were young and apparently drinking a lot. He’s the one who “cheated” but you let down your more-usual resistance to one-night stands.

And regretted it the next day, especially when his offensive texts treated you like cheap goods.

Worse, you became a target for his girlfriend’s anger.

Going silent was the best move along with avoiding that hockey player indefinitely.

He’d already been “outed” — perhaps by his teammates who were along that night, or by his girlfriend snooping to check his texts.