5 THINGS PAR­ENTS CAN’T AVOID AT THIS TIME OF YEAR

Ottawa Citizen - - Navigator -

1 CHRIST­MAS FETE FRENZY

“I still have PTSD from the year I vol­un­teered to run the Christ­mas card pro­gram,” one mom said. “Five min­utes af­ter school fin­ished, a wave of 400 par­ents and kids charged into a hall that was slightly too small and much too hot. They came to col­lect the cards their kids had de­signed for print­ing. Which was ex­cit­ing, un­til Mia’s cards were not in the box. Or Ro­man’s. Or the twins’. The fu­ri­ous granny shak­ing her fist and telling me she would be get­ting to the bot­tom of this was a high­light.”

2 CRAFT­ING CRI­SIS (HOME)

We’re all Pin­ter­est­ing these beau­ti­ful cards our kids will dec­o­rate with but­tons and rib­bons and stamp with “made by …” in gold ink. In re­al­ity, they are shriek­ing about hot-glue-gun­ning their fin­gers to the ta­ble, and punch­ing each other for the best but­tons. Then you find your­self, late at night, glit­ter­ing the Christ­mas tree col­lage so it looks just like it was made by your eightyear-old.

3 CRAFT­ING CRI­SIS (SCHOOL)

Then you get called in to help out with the school Christ­mas craft ac­tiv­i­ties — such as ic­ing ginger­bread men with but­tons and smiles, and then it all goes a bit porn when some as­pir­ing Banksy re­al­izes he can draw wee-wees and boo­bies in­stead.

4 DON’T FOR­GET YOUR OWN JOB

Mean­while, your boss needs both the end-ofyear num­bers and next year’s plan, ASAP. Only you lose a few days be­cause ev­ery­one has a filthy cold, closely fol­lowed by a vom­it­ing bug, and you need to take an af­ter­noon off for that school party, an­other for the car­ols and one for the na­tiv­ity.

5 NO, MAMA DOESN’T WANT MORE WINE!

Then there’s the avalanche of client so­cial events, team drinks and the com­pany party. One mom, who works in mar­ket­ing, claims to have at least one event ev­ery night be­tween now and Dec. 20. She is beg­ging col­leagues to share it all so she can be home a few nights each week and not need to wring cheap white wine out of her or­gans.

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