He needs to set boundaries with pals

Q My husband has a lot of women friends through work. He saw a couple of them daily when they worked at the same office. Some others met him through their jobs in promotions or sales for other companies.

Even during these past months when he’s worked from home, eight women “regulars” would call/text, invite him to Zoom chats, to “stay in touch.”

My husband and I trust each other, which is why he’s been open with me about these friendships — and has even showed me their communications. I never worried about him before. But I don’t fully trust one of the younger women who’s been openly determined to find a partner and have a baby.

She writes him about this and has even said she wants someone “just like him!”

Am I wrong in thinking this is going too far?

My husband’s now uncomfortable too, but isn’t sure how to say this without insulting her, or being mistaken and looking the fool.

I don’t want to be on his case, since this woman’s the aggressor, and the others have gone overboard on their online communication. What should I do that doesn’t belittle him or make me appear a shrew?

The Wife

A It’s up to your husband to make it clear to the woman seeking a baby-maker, that he’s neither available nor interested in the job.

He also needs to trim his availability to all these women friends for such frequent contact and personal conversations.

Married men are as entitled as married women to have friendships with the opposite sex, but there must be boundaries for the relationship not to be misleading.

Also, he’s apparently not clued in the women on how close he is with you and happy in your relationship.

One tactic to consider, if you’re comfortable with it: Invite the more blatant partner-seeker for a patio lunch with you two and maybe one or two more women.

Sit next to your husband, be warm and welcoming. Tell just a few anecdotes that reflect your life together and he, too, should tell some.

Then, encourage the younger woman that she’ll find love, too, in time.

Wrap it up quickly if anyone gets maudlin about their life.

It’s then up to your husband to keep any further contact to less personal exchanges.

If that doesn’t happen, he’s not playing fair with his “friends” OR you.

Read Ellie Monday to Saturday.