Relationship headed in right direction, but patience is key
Q I have been divorced for more than three years with two teenage sons adjusting to all the changes.
I work in a largely male-dominated field — advertising — so it is easy to meet men. Also, my father, brother and my ex are all ambitious businessmen, so I thought I had a clear idea of what to seek in my next serious relationship.
To my surprise, I'm attracted to a very different sort of man. He works in a demanding field but is a social-minded thinker and cares about other people's needs. His core values greatly appeal to me.
He divorced four years ago. He works hard and shares custody of his two daughters.
Due to the pandemic and resulting restrictions, we have not had much chance to experience what getting together as a couple would be like.
Between lockdowns we were able to “bubble” with each other over half a dozen weekends. Otherwise, we just chat online, write long emails and have even longer phone conversations.
Our children met each other once, but we felt it was too chancy with COVID-19, since they also have bubbles with their other parents and friends.
We love each other and both want this to be a permanent future. How do we arrange during the pandemic to make this happen? Or is the coronavirus going to keep us apart too long to sustain our feelings when we have so little chance to develop them further?
Love Interrupted
A You're already on the right path. Your appreciation of your boyfriend's values is an important factor toward a rewarding future.
You have already been doing the best you can under the circumstances while modelling for your children the respect and trust you're both bringing to this relationship. That should help in the transition to living together.
Be patient, that time will come. Meanwhile, your long chats and discussions on a broad range of topics are a necessary version of dating at this time.
There's every sign here that you two will share the future as soon as possible.
Q My husband has lost several family members, including his parents, in the last year. I'm wondering why some relatives haven't called/texted/sent a card. If they sent condolences to his siblings, they haven't let us know. How do we tactfully ask if someone did so and addressed it to the whole family?
Since everyone has email/text they could've sent a message to each sibling as we know them all. We always send condolences to our relatives individually.
None of us live close by. We can't formally have a service.
Various family members informed all the relatives about the deaths.
Is the etiquette now to just send to one person and hope they pass on the message? Confused and Hurt
A In a difficult year for everyone, etiquette's less top-of-mind. Without mourners' gatherings, each loss is borne more individually than ever before. Be the one to reach out, with a message of the parents' passing and hopes for other relatives to stay safe.