AGING WITH PRIDE
Film looks at issues facing older LGBTQ members
A new documentary by Ottawa journalist Christopher Guly provides a timely reminder that Pride doesn't evaporate with age and everyone wants to be loved, no matter how many years they've been on the planet.
On the eve of Ottawa's Pride festival, Forget Me Not is now streaming on OutTV channels. It is an insightful and compassionate film that features candid interviews with members of the LGBTQ community in the Ottawa area, including several residents of long-term care facilities.
Among the voices represented in the film are people such as the late Paul Leroux, a veteran activist and advocate who convinced his long-term care home to hold its first Pride celebration; Leroux's husband of almost 40 years, Alex Wisniowski; Lyle Borden, a founding member of the Ottawa Senior Pride Network; George Hartsgrove, a longtime volunteer in the LGBTQ community; and Joanne Law, one of Ottawa's first openly transgender activists.
They, and others, talk about the challenges of aging in a community that values youth, a time of life when many of one's friends are gone, lost to the AIDS epidemic, often with no children to rely on for support, and shunned by families because of their sexual orientation.
In addition to the loneliness and isolation that intensified during the pandemic, the film shows that queer people can feel like they disappear in LTC homes, pushed back into the closet out of the fear of revealing their identity to residents or staff who may be homophobic. There's a suggestion that mandatory sensitivity training could improve the situation.
As a gay man in his 50s, Guly feels a personal connection to the issue. He also saw how the longterm care system treated his late father, who suffered from dementia for many years and died in 2019. The experience made him want to avoid the same fate.
“You put all your time into trying to live a good life and pay your taxes, and as you get older, you're forgotten, off in a little room in a home,” the director and co-producer said. “What's changed? You got older.
“I think that age shouldn't be a factor in terms of recognition and acceptance, especially if you're male and in a community where looks are so important. It's not just a stereotype, it's a reality. If you're gay, as a guy you're supposed to be buff, but as you get older, you're invisible.
“If anything, it should be the inverse. We should be lauding these people. They fought for our rights and survived all that, and gained some wisdom along the way.”
The idea for Guly's first documentary was sparked by a friend whose mother wondered if there was a book about what it's like to be gay. Guly considered writing one, but after hearing OutTV CEO Brad Danks speak at a conference, instead pitched the idea of a documentary.
Much of what he learned about filmmaking took place over the last six years while on set as an extra in several made-for-television Christmas movies shot in the region. He worked with a smaller crew on his doc, finding that a lot of the work of filmmaking comes down to instinct and intuition.
“I think it's just driven by storytelling and how to imagine pictures,” Guly said. “I consume a lot of movies and television and so I learned from that how to present the story.”
Two other important aspects of the production are the evocative soundtrack by St. Catharines-based composer Adam Mancini, and the post-production editing by Ben Hoskyn. (Guly's elderly cocker spaniel, Claire, also makes an appearance.)
The Winnipeg-born journalist-turned-filmmaker has been a member of the Parliamentary Press Gallery in Ottawa since the '90s, and a frequent contributor to newspapers in England, the United States and Canada, including the Ottawa Citizen.
When asked about his plans for retirement, he responded with a volley of no's. “No, no, no. Absolutely not,” he said. “I definitely do not want to be in one of those facilities.”
He's energized by this new chapter of his career, and has several projects on the go, including a short film, a miniseries and another documentary. Rather than slowing down, he feels the need to move faster to fit it all in.
“I almost feel like I'm running out of time,” Guly said.
“I'm operating on full cylinders. I don't want to be at the mercy of some facility. I just want to burn brightly.”
Age shouldn't be a factor in terms of recognition and acceptance, especially if you're male and in a community where looks are so important.