His first love won't be his last love in this case

Q I'm a 24-year-old guy living with my girlfriend and in love for the first time. But I have a terrible feeling that I'm going to be dumped.

She's 23 and we're living in a different country from where we're both from, but hadn't met before.

We both work for a big organization where every day is interesting and we hit it off right away. We have a lot in common, like our love of travel. We go on weekend trips whenever possible.

I started to get the uncomfortable feeling when she first mentioned her former boyfriend and how he wanted to move here when she did. But he was going for a postgraduate degree, so she said she encouraged him to finish it.

A couple months ago, she said he might be coming here to visit. I'm not sure if he did but there was a weekend soon after when she said that she and an old girlfriend were meeting at some natural spa for “just females,” and I couldn't come.

I've had girlfriends but she's my first serious love. I could picture us being together for the future.

Now she's asked me to move out. She says he's finished school, came to see what's available for him here and found a research job.

She says they need to try being together again.

She says she's confused and that it may not work out if they've both changed. She says she still loves me and there may still be a chance for us.

To me, that now means we're ending. What can I do to prevent that? Should I embarrass myself and even try?

Already Dumped?

A This is a classic first love story — the excitement of living away from home, the freedom of living with a lover. Some such storied romances last — but more don't.

It was too soon for her to make long-term promises to you when she had a former lover on standby. She wasn't truly open with you about him. She wanted to choose and she has.

Consider this an experience instead of a dumping. You're still living an adventure, and you've been lucky to have experienced love.

You have to know what love feels like to give it to another unconditionally. Move on and it'll eventually happen for you.

Q My wife and I are in our 70s. I have asthma. We recently attended a backyard pool party where another adult guest, by choice unvaccinated, was present. We exchanged hugs unmasked as we were unaware of her vaccine status.

Our host knew this fact but didn't inform us until the other guest had left. Am I right in feeling disappointed with our host? Should the guest have informed us before we hugged? Uncomfortable/Annoyed

A Yes, the host should've mentioned the guest's status based on your compromised health when you were invited. You wouldn't have hugged and may've decided not to attend.

The divide between the vaccinated and the unvaccinated-by-choice isn't easily handled since emotions and health are involved. An anti-vaxxer already has their own position and the right to it. So, there's little interest in stating status because they're not worrying about your health. That's up to you.