HOW TO MAKE JOB INTERVIEWS LESS EXHAUSTING
Interviewing is like dating
The arrival of spring often fuels people to get searching for their perfect match - professionally and personally. Whether you're looking for your dream job or the love of your life, the “recruitment” processes for interviewing and dating are similar and can be less than sunny.
According to a recent Glassdoor poll, the struggle is real and respondents are split over what's more exhausting. Overall, 49 per cent of professionals say dating is more exhausting than job interviewing, while 51 per cent sided with interviewing. Among genders, 56 per cent of women professionals named dating as more exhausting, while only 43 per cent of men said the same, reports Glassdoor.com.
The smallest details can sabotage the process. Leaving an interested party waiting too long and not calling back soon enough is never good, and desperation is unattractive. It's rarely a smart move to take the first thing that comes along.
They are both a huge emotional spend: “Daters and interviewees are hoping to be well received, putting their best foot forward, and trying to impress, with very uncertain outcomes,” says certified coach Carrie Prince, of Youcandatebetter.com.
A memorable combination is “authenticity and warmth with a good sense of social norms. If you show up with your values guiding you, the right person and the right job will find you eventually,” says
Prince. “We want to work with and date people who are reliable, who we can get along with, and who we can respect or relate to.
“I always tell my clients - be the dater (or boss) you want to see in the world,” says Prince.
The majority of people need to participate in multiple “interviews” to find the right match. Sometimes you get traction, but then nothing. You feel defeated and vulnerable. While it can be tempting to stay put and maintain the status quo, putting yourself out there may be the best tactic long term.
But beware the common red flags, says Prince. “We are so saturated with A.I. right now, any resume or dating profile can look and sound perfect with the simplest of Chat GPT requests, so we're really quickly entering into a time when the in-person experience matters so much.”
If someone is resisting letting you see them either on video or in-person that's a huge red flag, she says. A quick video call, coffee or a drinks date will tell you a thousand times more than two weeks of texting and some unreliable photo sends, she says.
“When it comes to job search interactions, when things look or don't feel right, get a second and informed opinion immediately. In both dating and work opportunities, we can get sucked into the promise of too-goodto-be-true and so often it is, and it also could be unsafe,” adds Prince.
To make job interviewing (and dating) less exhaustive, Prince stresses getting your mindset in check. And that could look like:
■ Jobs and love are all about preparation and timing. Preparation you can control to some degree, timing you can't. Let go of what you can't control and know that everything else is just preparation, meaning a learning and growth process. You
can always be working on your own skills and mindset while you take in new experiences.
■ Make reasonable goals for yourself in terms of preparation and then structure your time so that you have joyful things to look forward to that keep you functioning at a healthy level. You will not thrive as a worried, exhausted person in interviews.
■ Count on the fact that it might take a long time and just settle in for the ride and see what you can make of the journey.
But there is hope for a happy ending! Spring holds a lot of possibility for growth, and that's what dating is really about - exploring, learning, understanding, and growing with people. “That applies to how we think about work as well,” says Prince.
So just how to get lucky in life? “I'm less about luck and more about framing and mindset. The question I ask clients is - what mindset serves you best?
“Four people can have the exact same circumstances with wildly different framings around it. Perhaps they just got a job after searching for only eight weeks. One person sees it from a perspective of being lucky, another might give credit to a spiritual entity, another might feel it's a result from the hard work and preparation they put in, and another might feel angry they didn't see a result sooner.
“We have some choice in our perspective around our lives, and that's a very powerful tool to explore,” adds Prince.