Is cutting line poor manners?

QUESTION: Last year, my family and I spotted an ice-cream store with a lineup out the door. I only wanted a coffee so walked to the cash register, past the people at the counter.

In between customers, I asked for a coffee, paid, and left.

My teenagers were mortified that I avoided the lineup, and called my actions rude.

Should I have entered the line with the other customers to wait to ask for a coffee? — Uncertain

ANSWER: I know you’d like me to note how efficiently you obtained your coffee with little delay to the waiting customers. And I can empathize with impatience, which I sometimes feel myself.

However, you were rude. We teach children to not butt in. But you did.

The parents waiting in line with their kids surely found you rude.

It wasn’t a great example for your teens. Tell them so and apologize.

FEEDBACK: Regarding the woman not told by her siblings that her mother was dying, a reader replies: Shame on her siblings for not telling her the mother’s true condition. She wrote you, asking: “Should I acknowledge them or keep them out of my life?”

I say value and importance are two strong determinants. Ask yourself, do you value them? Are they important to you? Do you miss them?

If yes, reach out to them. Should your answer be no, I need not say anything more about contact with them.

At this stage in your life, finding peace with other family members will be difficult. The relationship will never be the same as it was prior to the hurtful time.

Putting the pain behind you is a tough one. You’re dealing with, and grieving, the loss of your mother and grieving the loss of your family all at the same time.”

TIP OF THE DAY Someone who’d rather cheat with you than love you freely and openly is best left behind.

Ellie Tesher is a nationally-syndciated advice columnist based in Toronto.