War affects families too
Dear editor: It has taken me many years to find the courage to formulate this letter.
Every year as Nov. 11 draws near, my mind, body and emotions rev up into a turbulent, chaotic storm of memories.
Years passed have gifted me time to put into perspective what Remembrance Day means to myself. It means I have the right to feel safe and the right to live a free and peaceful life. But this right did not come without a cost. War! A war in which sons, daughters, husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, mothers and fathers fought so that I could sit here today.
I was not born during the World Wars and do not hold any memories of witnessing the atrocities of war, but myself and my siblings fought to survive the aftermath of war. My father fought for this country. But even after the war ended, it did not end in my father’s mind.
My father was Sergeant H.H. Brown. I was the second youngest of seven of his children. What we witnessed, experienced and felt was much more than most adults could ever have endured, let alone children.
The murderous rage, the middle of night pleas for help, the excruciating physical and emotional pain, the bloodshed and the indescribable terror were witnessed and felt by us all. We were all held captive until each one of us reached an age to muster up the courage to escape.
Each one of us, including our mother, was a victim of war, indirectly through the war-ravaged mind of our father.
It has taken me many years of therapy and processing to reach this pivotal point of understanding, acceptance, forgiveness and love for my father.
My mother once told me she married a kind and loving man, not the monster I knew him to be. I understand now when my father returned home from war he couldn’t cope and there was no help for PTSD. He did the only thing a lot of people still do today when memories consume them; he drank. That led to alcoholism and blackout rages.
I feel tears when Nov. 11 approaches. My father survived the war he fought in, but the war stole a husband, a father, a grandfather and a great grandfather. To me, this was the greatest loss of war.
This Remembrance Day, I remembered those who fought for my freedom and my safety. I also, with much passion and love, remembered my father, my mother, my brothers, my sister, my husband, my children and my grandchildren.
Kathy Byard (Brown) Penticton