Individual parts fixed, not the whole

Dear Editor:

While I agree with columnist David Bond's statement that there is a need for more women’s shelters (Herald, June 2), I would add that this a short-term fix and not getting to the root of the problem.

Policing, court interventions, anger management classes, counselling for women and children fix the individual parts, but not the whole. The whole is the health of the disrupted family. Statistics say that after a rescue intervention, women are likely to return to the “offender” more than one time. He is after all the father of her children, a powerful magnet, and when he is not emotionally out of control, he probably has many redeeming qualities.

If she chooses not to return, both she and the abuser will probably form new partnerships and have more children to cement this new bond. But, the lack of having experienced healthy models of relationship in the families of origin still remain with the potential for abuse to erupt again.

A long-lasting fix could be had after the safety requirements have been met with the establishment of family centres that offer training to the whole family in caring, education and respect, a service that should be available over an extended period of time until safety and security is established.

Counselling should be free of charge or on a sliding scale fee. But, first universities need to do better in preparing counsellors and psychiatrists with a stronger foundation in understanding and teaching healthy relationships and skills in marital and family counselling.

The lack of affordable marital counselling is a gaping hole in our health care model. How much money could be saved and how many family lives improved if this next step was taken to ensure healthier and safer communities? Patricia Kristie

Penticton