Love and smoke are back in the Okanagan air

My wife sent me a text this week, which is not unusual; however, this message had several dates for weddings we have been asked to attend or officiate.

Weddings are back in the Okanagan Valley and love is undoubtedly in the air. Sadly, so is the smoke; our prayers are with all our B.C. communities that are facing the relentless wildfires following this summer’s heatwave.

Marriage preparation is part of my pastoral role; we have a wonderful marriage mentoring program as a church.

Couples are beautifully optimistic, and they arrive for mentoring with wide smiles, I can almost hear them humming, “All You Need Is Love" by The Beatles.

In these preparation sessions, I will also assist the couple in writing their vows. One pastor tells the story of a couple who said, “We have only adjusted the traditional marriage vows to be a little more contemporary.

Let us read them to you.”

Their vows seemed sound until they got to the final line: “For richer or poorer; in sickness and in health; until we no longer love each other.”

It is understandable in our modern culture for a couple to think that this statement is loving. However, true Christian love is about a devotion that is far beyond simple emotion. It is about determination, planning to love every day; it is rooted in daily actions; it is a sacrificial art that needs practice.

This love is something that arrives from a deep connection with God’s love. As God is love, when we seek God, the fruit of love grows in our lives.

I have friends whose spouses are suffering from a debilitating neurological disease. They inspire and humble me as I watch the way they love. In “Letters to an Unborn Child,” David Ireland wrote to his child.

“Your mother is very special. Few men know what it’s like to receive appreciation for taking their wives out to dinner when it entails what it does for us. It means that she has to dress me, shave me, brush my teeth, comb my hair. Open the garage and put me in the car, sit me in the seat of the car, twist me around so that I am comfortable, fold the wheelchair, start it up, back it out, and drive off to the restaurant... And when it's over, she pays the bill, pushes the wheelchair out to the car again. And with real warmth, she says, ‘Honey, thank you for taking me out to dinner.’ I never quite know what to answer.”

As I read this story, I’m reminded of the words of Saint John: “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers” (1 John 3:16).

Let those around us know our love as a verb, a love seen by actions, not just words.