My feet blackened like catfish
on the flat tar roof. Sitting
over my own bedroom, dirty
toes dangling, eyes
on the road past the mailbox,
on the red breasted robins
hearing insects make their way
through the soil. Wait, wait—and plunge
into the earth. Same earth of my body.
Same earth of her body.
Same earth of her ashes poured
into lakewater. Same earth
on my feet. Her body
in a bird’s belly. Her body
dropped on a windshield. Her body
scrubbed off at a gas station. Her body
poured onto the sidewalk with the soapy water.
Her body sinking
into the concrete’s cracks. Her body
sinking. Her body sinking
her body joining her body rising
into the air her body
dispersing her body dispersing
my memories dispersing her body
my mind thinning out and joining
and disappearing and finding her body again
inside me sitting ten years old
on a flat tar roof waiting
to see her car pulling into the driveway
to see her smile and get out and take me
home take me home take me home,
please mommy, take me home.