Acceptance key to change

Editor:

Recent elections in Alberta and this fall Canada may or may not improve external conditions, but have little to no effect on our inner emotional conditions which we must live with our entire lives.

As kids we learn some experiences are bad and others are good.

For example, sadness and anxiety are bad or negative and happiness and joy are good or positive. So we try to minimize painful experiences and maximize pleasurable experiences. In particular, when we experience some kind of emotional pain, we tend to want to try to escape from it. In the long run, however, avoidance is ineffective.

Avoidance fails because emotional pain is a part of life.

We cannot avoid it. Everyone gets uncomfortable thoughts and emotions, such as sadness, anxiety, or anger. How we choose to respond to that emotional pain can determine whether we are able to get through it or prolong and intensify it.

The thought that trying to avoid or escape our inner experiences (such as our thoughts and feelings) may be what leads to suffering and psychological disorders. As a result, the person may try to get some temporary relief such as drugs and alcohol.

This may work in the short-term, but the alcohol or drugs will do nothing in the longterm to alleviate that pain. It will likely cause the pain to become worse, as well as introduce a whole host of other problems.

So, what can be done? Suffering does not come from the original emotional pain, but from our present attempts to avoid that pain. People can learn to be open and willing to have their inner experiences while focusing their attention not on trying to escape or avoid pain (because this is impossible to do), but instead to live a meaningful life.

What is a meaningful life? It is an individual quest. Finding one’s personal answer leads to peace of mind. With peace of mind comes relief from self-induced stress, worry and anxiety. There will always be pressure from uncontrollable events. With acceptance of what we cannot change and a personal definition of what is meaningful to us we can live happier, healthier lives.

Ray Marco

Dunmore, Alta.