As Kids See It

Reader's Digest (Canada) - - Contents -

WHEN MY GRAND­SON was four years old, he was a fussy eater. At a fam­ily din­ner, his aunt asked him if he would like an olive and he de­clined. “Have you ever tasted an olive?” she asked. “No,” he replied. “I don’t try stuff I don’t like.” JOANNE JOHN­SON, Nisku, Alta.

OUR SIX-YEAR-OLD does a lot of trash talk­ing for some­one who puts his shoes on the wrong feet 30 per cent of the time. @DAD_IN_BRIEF

SORRY WE’RE LATE. I let my kid tie his own shoes. @MOM_OVERBOARD

IF I, AS A MOM, don’t know where some­thing is in this house, it means it’s gone for­ever. @MOMTRUTHS2BTOLD

I’M A PAR­ENT. My hob­bies in­clude watch­ing fresh pro­duce rot in my fridge and telling my kids that they should have done what I asked the first time. @PETRICKSARA

FRIEND: What’s that thing where you’re al­ways tired but can never get rest? ME: Par­ent­hood. @MYMOMOLOGUE

WHEN MY DAUGH­TER, Caitlin, was three, she would cud­dle with me at night. One night I woke up with a sore calf and hopped around the room, try­ing to shake it off. When she asked me what was wrong, I told her I had a charley horse. The next night, I woke up to Caitlin jump­ing around and clutch­ing her calf. “It’s okay, Mommy,” she said. “I just have a chatty horse.” LUCY PRIOR, Ab­bots­ford, B.C.

SEVEN-YEAR-OLD: “Wow, this must be an an­tique! It’s from way back in the 1900s!” ME: “Okay, calm down. It’s from 1997.” @MAUGHAMMOM

MY FAVOURITE THING about buy­ing food in bulk is when my kids im­me­di­ately de­cide that they now hate that food. @BLUEBONETBABIES

EV­ERY NIGHT, my four-year-old son con­stantly in­sists that he doesn’t want to go to sleep be­cause “sleep takes too long.” SHAIMA QURESHI, Bar­rie, Ont.

SHE POOPS TOO MUCH: my son’s re­view of his new baby sis­ter. @UNFILTEREDMAMA

PRE­PARE YOUR SPOUSE for par­ent­hood by wak­ing them up at 3 a.m. to tell them it’s not rain­ing and then de­mand some cheese. @MACGYVERINGM22

A FRIEND OF MINE asked my grand­son, Tyler, how old he was. Tyler an­swered, “I am four years old.” My friend then asked, “When are you go­ing to be five?” After a long pause, Tyler an­swered, “After four.” PAT MAYER, Sar­nia, Ont.

REAL QUES­TION MY kids got out of bed to ask me: “Mom, do you have any twigs I can use?” @ASHLEYAUSTREW

SIX-YEAR-OLD: *checks out an­other Star Wars book from the school li­brary* ME: Why do you al­ways get Star Wars books? SIX-YEAR-OLD: I only read the clas­sics. @XPLODINGUNICORN

Are the chil­dren you know flu­ent in funny? Tell us about them! A story could earn you $50. For de­tails on how to sub­mit an anec­dote, see page 9 or visit rd.ca/joke.

“I for­got my phone. Now how am I sup­posed to share this sig­nif­i­cant child­hood mo­ment with my net­work?”

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