Detroit receiver out after suffering a cheesy injury
New York Yankees closer Mariano Rivera, who’s to retire at the end of his team’s playoff-less season, pitched for the final time at Yankee Stadium on Thursday. Fans in the Bronx were distraught after Rivera left the game, realizing they wouldn’t see their favourite reliever any Mo ... Yankees manager Joe Girardi choked up during his post-game media conference when discussing Rivera. Actually, the tears started when Girardi realized his closer next season might be (sob!) Joba Chamberlain ... While Rivera rides off into the sunset, Yankees second baseman
Robinson Cano is set to become a free agent. According to reports, Cano wants a 10-year, $305-million contract that, like his current deal, won’t require him to run out ground balls.
Bud Selig will step down as MLB’s commissioner when his contract expires in January 2015. After his inane ruling at the 2002 all-star game, Selig’s going-away present should be a tie ... Remember how the Los Angeles Dodgers jumped into the Chase Field pool after clinching the NL West title with a win over the host Arizona Diamondbacks? Well, Arizona Sen. John McCain wasn’t impressed, tweeting: “No-class act by a bunch of overpaid, immature, arrogant, spoiled brats!” That led to this tweeted reply from Dodgers reliever Brian Wilson: “Senator McComplain knows a thing or two about coming in second and watching someone take a plunge in the pool (I mean poll) #POoLITICS” ... As a reader of Len Berman’s thatssports.com blog noted: “Does John McCain realize that the words that he used to describe the Dodgers could be used to describe Congress?”
This week’s wacky soccer story comes from Spain, where Real Madrid’s 2-1 victory over Elche caused an uproar. After the referee awarded a questionable penalty in injury time which resulted in the winning goal, unhappy Elche fans took to Twitter to report the “crime” to Spain’s national police. The cops didn’t investigate, saying the offence wasn’t Real ... Complaining about corruption in soccer on Twitter makes sense. There must be 140 shady characters in the game ... As Team Oracle was completing its miracle comeback against Team New Zealand in the America’s Cup — eight straight victories allowed the U.S. to win the series 9-8 — comedy writer Alex Kaseberg offered this take on the sport: “America’s Cup yachting is so white, the trash talking is: ‘Your matriarch is so plus-sized, her cotillion dress is a spinnaker.’ ”
Detroit Lions receiver Nate Burleson has been sidelined with a broken left arm, suffered in a single-vehicle accident early Tuesday. Turns out Burleson lost control and hit a median after he tried to keep pizzas from falling off the front seat. He never could run a wheel route ... How happy was FoxTV’s Rob Riggle when he went 4-0 picking NFL games last week? “This is a total rush!” Riggle said. “I bet this is how (Lions bad boy) Ndamukong Suh feels when he’s stomping on somebody’s head!” ... Speaking of heads, the Jacksonville Jaguars are offering two free beers to each person who buys a ticket to Sunday’s home game against the Indianapolis Colts. Now that’s how to get the fans behind you right off the hops.
Former NFL great O.J. Simpson, who’s serving a 33-year sentence for armed robbery in a Nevada prison, recently was caught attempting to steal more than a dozen oatmeal cookies from the prison cafeteria. It sounds like O.J. is trying to get fat so he can trigger that old defence argument: “If the orange jumpsuit doesn’t fit, you must acquit.” ... Simpson should know by now that cookies are better with milk, not with O.J. ... Former bodyguards of supermodel Gisele Bundchen and New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady are on trial in Costa Rica for shooting at photographers during the couple’s wedding reception in April 2009. What, was it a shotgun wedding? ... Wait. Someone Brady knew was involved in an alleged incident with a gun — and it wasn’t Aaron Hernandez?
Members of two churches in the Atlanta area have voted to accept offers totalling $34 million from the City of Atlanta, which wants their land so it can build a new stadium for the Falcons. It’s the first time an NFL team has paid millions of dollars to a Christian who didn’t actually play in the league since the New York Jets employed Tim Tebow ... The last word this week goes to Arizona Cardinals special-teamer Rashad Johnson, who lost the tip of his left middle finger Sunday while tackling New Orleans Saints punt returner Darren Sproles. Johnson had surgery on the digit, but he didn’t have the fingertip reattached — and he still plans to play Sunday against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. As Johnson put it: “At the end of the day, I’ve got nine more.”