Cherry’s look suits Bobcats
An 18-year-old man who had been arrested on suspicion of drunk driving in Hanover, Pa., was found to have a bag of synthetic marijuana, a socket wrench, four bracelets, four necklaces and 11 rings inside his rectum. And people think Alex Rodriguez had bad stuff jammed into his butt ... Thanks to an arbitrator’s ruling, Rodriguez was suspended for the entire 2014 baseball season for his use of performanceenhancing drugs. The New York Yankees third baseman said Wednesday that Major League Baseball actually did him a favour with the suspension. Yeah — no shots for a whole year ... The other good thing for A-Rod about the ban is that it guarantees he can’t be ridiculed for his (lack of) performance in the playoffs.
Major League Baseball has approved the use of an expanded replay system. Upon further review, Barry
Bonds is still a jerk ... In the recent Hall of Fame balloting, the steroid-tainted Bonds had eight fewer votes than he did in 2013 — his first year of eligibility for the Hall. Noted Scott Ostler of the San Francisco
Chronicle: “If only Barry could somehow, you know, boost his performance.” ... The Chicago Cubs unveiled a new mascot the other day, a young bear named Clark. He replaces the team’s previous representative, a goat named Steve Bartman ... Comedy writer Jim Barach had this thought about Clark: “Just like the team, the bear goes into hibernation right around October.”
During Monday’s NHL game between the Los Angeles Kings and Vancouver Canucks, U.S. Olympic teammates Dustin Brown and Ryan Kesler got into a spirited fight. A scout who was in attendance passed along his thoughts to Pittsburgh Penguins (and Team USA) head coach Dan Bylsma, who shared the scout’s words with the media. “His comment was, ‘If this is what Team USA will do to each other, then wait until they get Canada on the other side,’ ” Bylsma said. Oh? And what will happen then, some Olympic-calibre turtling? ... The Alberta Junior Hockey League’s Lloydminster Bobcats are to wear uniforms that resemble one of
Don Cherry’s gaudy suits during today’s Hockey Day in Canada game against the Sherwood Park Crusaders. By wearing plaid, the Bobcats are sure to finish their checks.
This week’s wacky soccer story comes from Spain, where some fans of Racing Santander tried to attack team president Angel Lavin one hour into the club’s Copa del Rey game against Almeria. Upset with the team’s financial woes — the players hadn’t been paid since October — a group of fans attacked the presidential box, throwing drinks at Lavin and trying to kick him. By the sound of things, Lavin’s no Angel ... The Naked Sledding World Championship is set for Feb. 15 in Germany. Competitors must successfully ride a wooden toboggan over an 89-metrelong course while wearing only footwear and a helmet. Which is more hazardous to the participants’ health, the shivers or the slivers?
Visitors to the recent Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas were introduced to a new rifle featuring technology that makes it virtually impossible to miss. One question: Has Canada’s biathlon team heard about this? ... At one point during his stay on the UK Celebrity Big Brother TV show, former heavyweight boxing champion Evander Holyfield likened homosexuality to a physical disability and said it can be “fixed.” Noted Greg Cote of the Miami Herald: “Having had part of an ear bitten off, I guess he couldn’t hear how dumb that sounded.” ... Things aren’t going so well for the Los Angeles Lakers this NBA season. Asked about his team’s woes, Lakers head coach Mike D’Antoni replied: “I don’t drink and smoke ... although I’m thinking about starting, just the drinking part.”
Lauren Tannehill — whose husband, Ryan, is the quarterback of the NFL’s Miami Dolphins — left an assault rifle in the back seat of a rental car when she returned the vehicle. Like Ryan, Lauren could play quarterback; she certainly has a gun ... The NFC championship pits the San Francisco 49ers against the Seattle Seahawks — two teams that grate on many NFL fans. As Chris Chase of USAToday.com put it: “Live from Seattle, it’s the Insuffera-Bowl.” ... The last word this week goes to Denver Broncos pivot Peyton Manning, who called out “Omaha” in his pre-snap cadence 44 times during Sunday’s AFC playoff victory over the San Diego Chargers. Asked Wednesday about the word’s meaning in the Broncos’ offence, Manning replied: “Omaha is a run play, but it could be a pass play or a play-action pass depending on a couple things: The wind, which way we’re going, the quarter and the jerseys that we’re wearing. So it varies, really, play to play.” Uh, thanks ...