Home side wasn’t a friend of the bride
Authorities in Toronto discovered another mysterious tunnel Friday morning, but this time the digger was identified quickly. It was Mike Babcock, who must have realized what he had done the day before … On Thursday, Babcock left the security of the perennially powerful Detroit Red Wings to become the head coach of the perennially putrid Toronto Maple Leafs. Babcock apparently wanted a challenge and he got one. Its name is Phil Kessel … Babcock got an eight-year, $50-million contract from the Leafs. That’ll buy a lot of Advil … Babcock created a stir during his introductory media conference when he called the Leafs “Canada’s team.” They’re only Canada’s team if the discussion is about overpaid underachievers.
With Deflategate still on the minds of many, the NFL put out an ironic tweet this week. While promoting a video on its website in which coaches discuss what it takes to be a franchise quarterback, the league summarized the responses with the words “Precision,” “Strength” and “Intelligence” stacked on top of each other. The first letters of the words spell “PSI,” which Tom Brady certainly knows a thing or two about … Former New England Patriots offensive lineman Matt Light isn’t impressed with people who think his former quarterback is a cheater. As Light told reporters: “You can say whatever you want in this world until you get punched in the mouth.” … Brady and NBA legend Michael Jordan hit the links last weekend in the Bahamas. As Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press put it on Twitter: “Irony: Tom Brady goes golfing with His Airness.”
“The NFL’s top health adviser says the game is getting safer,” comedy writer Jim Barach reported. “For instance, players will find that footballs are much softer and less likely to cause pain when they are playing against the New England Patriots.” … Patriots owner Robert Kraft announced Tuesday that the team won’t appeal the punishment it received from the NFL in the wake of Deflategate. Many New England fans wanted Kraft to fight, so his statement really took the wind out of their sails … Former Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez, a convicted murderer, reportedly got into a fight in prison. Hernandez now is dealing with joint pain … “The NFL is apparently about to change the Point After Touchdown (PAT) rule,” noted blogger Janice Hough. “Oakland Raiders fans are asking, ‘The what?’ ”
This week’s wacky soccer story comes from Romania, where Gilortul Tg Carbunesti couldn’t play a scheduled home game last Saturday — because the town’s mayor had rented the stadium for his daughter’s wedding. The team had to move the game to a town 40 kilometres away, where the players were forced to dress and train. In a veiled threat to the mayor, the club vowed never to be a bridesmaid again … According to the annual ESPN/SportingIntelligence Global Salary Survey, players on the French soccer club Paris SaintGermain have the highest average salary in sports at $9.1 million per year. PSG also apparently stands for “pay’s super good” … Portugal’s Joao Sousa defeated Brazil’s Joao Souza 7-5, 6-3 on Monday at the Geneva Open. In the tennis world, that’s a name matched set.
After winning both the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness Stakes, American Pharoah reportedly could earn stud fees of $100,000 per foal if he wins the Triple Crown. Hmmm. Wonder how much Triple Crown winner Miguel Cabrera of the Detroit Tigers charges? … After shredding the ulnar collateral ligament in his throwing arm, Chase Whitley of the New York Yankees is to become the 16th major-league pitcher this year to undergo reconstructive surgery. The procedure has become so prevalent, it seems like it’s being done on every Tommy John, Dick and Harry … Milwaukee Brewers reliever Will Smith was ejected from a game Thursday for having a foreign substance on one of his arms. Brewers outfielder Ryan Braun can relate. In 2013, he was suspended for having a foreign substance IN his arms.
Boxer Floyd Mayweather reportedly won $827,000 last weekend after wagering on NBA games and a boxing match. “Good,” scribbled Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald, “now he will have no problem refunding the $99 I spent to get the pay-per-view of his fight with ( Manny) Pacquiao.” … MMA star Ronda Rousey was asked by Access Hollywood if she would ever go a few rounds with Mayweather. “I don’t think that me and him would ever fight,” Rousey replied, “unless we ended up dating.” … The last word this week goes to a headline writer at the Hamilton Spectator (no relation, but a clever name just the same), who came up with this gem for a story about the auction of some iconic sports memorabilia: “Roger Bannister’s shoes expected to go fast.”