The Muppets begin their takeover of the entertainment industry
“You don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows,” but these days, a guide through the seemingly endless flurry of pop culture offerings is just what we need. With that in mind, here is what’s on the radar screen in TV, music and film for the coming week.
MOVIES
Big Releases on Sept. 25: The Intern; Hotel Transylvania 2
Big Picture: Robert De Niro plays Ben, a 70-year-old widower and retiree who improbably becomes the intern — and “best friend” — of Jules (Anne Hathaway), the 30-something founder of a trendy online fashion site. Cue the obligatory scenes about Jules teaching Ben about social media, and him teaching her about ... well, everything else in life.
Meanwhile, the animated Hotel Transylvania returns for a sequel that finds “Vampa” Drac running an openly human-friendly hotel while putting his half-vampire grandson through an inept monster boot camp. These are monsters truly living in an age of acceptance — until oldschool bigotry visits in the form of great granddad Vlad.
Forecast: Two tales about old-timers — one a wise progressive, and another whose views are so ancient they might predate the Stone Age. The elderly edge goes to The Intern (Do you really want to listen to Adam Sandler speak in a cartoonish Transylvanian accent for another two hours? Life is just too short).
TV
Mega Event: Heroes Reborn (Sept. 24, NBC/Global): I’ve added an upper tier thanks to one of the biggest TV première weeks. Ever. The superhero drama returns for a miniseries as creator Tim Kring looks to avoid the creative kryptonite that destroyed the original.
The reboot trend is here to stay! I’m hoping for a reset on Cheers, headlined by George Wendt, in which the Boston bar has been turned into a taco/craft brew joint for hipsters.
Big Events: Minority Report (Sept. 21, Fox/Global); Limitless (Sept. 22, CBC/ Global); The Player (Sept. 24, NBC); Blood & Oil (Sept. 27, ABC/CTV)
Big Picture: Heroes isn’t the only thing being reborn. Minority Report picks up in 2065 (after the events of 2002’s Tom Cruise film). The Precrime program has been abolished, but one precog (Stark Sands) lives off the grid — and visions of murders still dance in his head. Meanwhile, Wesley Snipes stars in The Player — which is essentially Minority Report set in the present, if Precrime were financed by a wealthy circle of major gambling addicts. (My wager is it won’t last five episodes.) Then there’s Limitless, based on the forgettable 2011 Bradley Cooper film. Jack McDorman plays a different handsome, generic, white guy with drug-enhanced mental abilities. And finally, Blood & Oil resurrects both Don Johnson’s career and ’80s drama Dallas — more-orless re-setting that sudsy, oily drama in North Dakota.
Forecast: This is a trick question. The real “big event” this week is the small-screen return of The Muppets (Sept. 22, ABC/City) in a behind-thescenes, mockumentary-style series. Kermit has a new pig girlfriend, and Fozzie Bear is dating a gorgeous blond human. Its 30 Rock meets The Office — but every essential character is played by googlyeyed pieces of felt and foam. My prediction: by fall 2016, most of these new dramas will be cancelled and more shows will star Muppets (e.g. Survivor: Muppets, CSI: Muppets, and Fozzie — a sitcom about a struggling bear doing standup in New York).
MUSIC
Big Releases on Sept. 25: The Dears (Times Infinity Vol. 1); The Dead Weather (Dodge & Burn).
Big Picture: Montreal indie veterans The Dears serve an overdue round of their romantic pop-noir cocktail. Meanwhile, Jack White’s bluescharged rock supergroup, The Dead Weather, are forecast to deliver album No. 3.
Forecast: No need to dodge; both efforts will burn up your playlist. But The Muppets will take over the music business next. Frankly, it’s about time that the world’s furriest drummer, Animal, released his own solo work.