What modern cars can learn from Gremlin
Can something be so weird it finally becomes wonderful?
When the AMC Gremlin was introduced in 1970, it was ugly. It was also under $2,000. It looked exactly like what it was: someone took a hacksaw to a Hornet, pushed it to the front of the production line and crossed their fingers that the American public wouldn’t notice the gas guzzling rust bucket for what it actually was. Rumour has it the Gremlin was designed by Richard Teague on an airplane, sketching on the back of an airsickness bag. I’ll buy that.
The thing is, 45 years after it was introduced and panned and slammed, it is now collected and revered in clubs all over. Same with its stable mate, the Pacer. AMC is now R.I.P., but you have to admit, they had balls.
From Car and Driver in 1970: “All of AMC’s surveys indicated that distinctive styling is the single most important feature to the imported-car buyer and it is hoped that the Gremlin’s unique silhouette will become as fashionable in the public eye as that of the Beetle.”
Unique it was, though the Beetle it wasn’t. But look at that phrase: “distinctive styling is the single most important feature.” Show me a limb and I’ll show you almost nobody producing affordable cars willing to go out on it today. Exceptions to the rule offer up things like the Plymouth Prowler or the Hummer or the PT Cruiser, which all look like the walk of shame after a regrettable night of too much booze. How can I slam the ones willing to try? Because they’re overwhelmed by the onslaught of four-door sedans and SUVs whose badges are more like Hello My Name Is stickers.
Some “out there” designs are very much on purpose, such as the Nissan Cube, which must have known it would never conquer North American tastebuds. Right? While car buyers still seek a triumvirate of good, available and cheap, most know sacrifices will be made in at least one department.
Cars all look the same and I’d like to be able to say, “Well, at least they’re not blowing up like Pintos anymore,” but GM and Toyota showed us we haven’t exactly come very far on that front, either. OK, that’s not fair. Cars are infinitely safer and better made than they once were, but corporations are still doing what I call Death Accounting and figure paying out to cover up a problem is cheaper than paying out to fix it.
I remember the Chevettes and the Novas and the Mavericks and the Cutlasses from my high-school years. They littered the parking lot and nobody could have known they’d one day have their own car shows and meetings and Facebook pages.
Ever-tightening fuel efficiency requirements have taken the play out of most designers’ hands. Today, new car launches stress a slight bend in the metal or a reconfiguration of daytime running lights as a design overhaul.
Even Hollywood gets on board, knowing a car is worth a thousand words. It’s usually the ugliest vehicles that become the character actors. Justified featured not one but two Gremlins, both owned by sad sacks as shorthand for their sad sackedness. Breaking Bad might have been the best at this; a meth-cooking chemistry teacher with little left to live for having a Pontiac Aztek as his chariot. Yes, there are Aztek fan clubs. No, the vehicle has not become any less sad with the passing of time. While every car on the show packs a truckload of symbolism, giving your kid a Challenger and having his mom swap it for a PT Cruiser is perhaps the nastiest bait and switch of all.
Ranchero clubs and El Camino clubs perhaps prove that 1970 AMC quote about distinctive styling once being all-important. The difference is that today, distinctive styling translates into flat sales at a time when, to be cost effective, lines must pump out as many similar cars as possible. We have more cars to choose from, but in a parking lot covered in snow, most of us couldn’t tell one from another. Will any of the lookalikes end up being collectibles? Some will. Just don’t be looking for any beige Corolla clubs any time soon.