PREDATOR IS BACK AND AS BAD AS EVER
This week calls for more aliens, adultery and the apocalypse, Chris Lackner writes.
MOVIES
Big releases on Sept. 14: The Predator; A Simple Favor
Big picture: In 1987, Predator helped make Arnold Schwarzenegger a superstar; in 2018, it’s helping make triplet No. 3 from This Is Us (Sterling K. Brown) into a bad ass. Brown is part of an ensemble cast facing off against everyone’s favourite alien trophy hunters. This time the toothy, camouflaged monsters have abandoned jungle expeditions and have decided to pursue their human prey in the cosy, cushy suburbs. Director Shane Black reinvents the franchise and upgrades the Predators biologically (they have incorporated the DNA of their conquered species). In case humanity wasn’t screwed already, the Preds also decided to bring intergalactic hunting dogs. (Petting is not encouraged — unless you want to lose arm plus half your torso.) The heroic misfits of the film include a disgruntled science guru and a ragtag crew of mentally unhinged ex-soldiers. They are all that stands in the way of the Earth becoming an open safari.
The film could have been called One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s
Nest and Into the Predators’ Hunting Ground ( but that wouldn’t have fit well on posters). “F--king you up is their idea of tourism,” Brown summarizes for the would-be human prey. Meanwhile, A Simple Favor is like Woody Allen’s Match Point meets Gone Girl. When do-gooder mommy blogger Stephanie (Anna Kendrick) becomes the unlikely best friend of the mysterious, larger-than-life Emily (Blake Lively), the former’s life rapidly becomes entangled in secrets, violence, betrayal, murder and adultery. It’s either the ticket to massive blog traffic or a ticket to an early grave. Emily — who promptly goes missing — is described by the people that love her as “an enigma” and “a beautiful ghost.” Emily is a character brought to you by the Letter D. She is either dead, in danger or just plain dangerous.
Forecast: I predict a sequel in the reinvented sci-fi franchise. The Predator: A Simple Favor, in which predators make the mistake of targeting the world’s most dangerous game: suburban housewives.
TV
Big events: American Horror Story: Apocalypse (Sept. 12, FX Canada); The Land of Steady Habits (Netflix, Sept. 14); Norm Macdonald Has a Show (Netflix, Sept. 14); Forever (Sept. 14, Amazon Prime)
Big picture: Ryan Murphy’s horror anthology series has tackled witches, demons, ghosts, carnies, serial killers, aliens, vampires and more. Why not the end of the world as we know it? Season 8 is a crossover of AHS’S arguably top two seasons: season 1 (Murder House) and season 3 (Coven). The cast features many returning favourites such as Sarah Paulson, Jessica Lange, Kathy Bates, Evan Peters, Gabourey Sidibe, Connie Britton, Dylan Mcdermott and Taissa Farmiga. How ghosts, Rubber Man and witches deal with the apocalypse is anyone’s guess, but bet on it being gory, ghoulish and entertaining.
Meanwhile, The Land of Steady Habits is a Netflix original that bowed at the Toronto film festival. It is based on Ted Thompson’s novel about a man (Ben Mendelsohn) who — you guessed it — finds himself in a mid-life crisis and blows up his life. (Hollywood: the No. 1 enabler of real men’s mid-life crises.) To be fair, Mendelsohn truly deserves a leading role after his outstanding supporting work on the TV series Bloodline.
Meanwhile, Norm Macdonald Has a Show isn’t only a Netflix original but also a Netflix “inevitable.” The Canadian comic’s zany interview clips as a talk show guest are popular on Youtube and his own podcast talk show is a cult favourite.
Finally, Forever is about the doldrums of marriage and monotony and features a married couple — Fred Armisen and Maya Rudolph — who encounter some unexpected ways to break out of their rut
Forecast: I can read Murphy’s mind and predict that season 9 will be titled American Horror Story: Marriage.
MUSIC
Big releases on Sept. 15:
Carrie Underwood (Cry Pretty); Willie Nelson (My Way)
Big picture: County queen Underwood releases her sixth album. The title track includes a life lesson worth remembering: “You can pretty lie and say it’s OK / You can pretty smile and just walk away / Pretty much fake your way through anything / But you can’t cry pretty.” Speaking of country royalty, Nelson releases My Way, an album featuring covers of songs by his old friend Frank Sinatra. Tracks include Fly Me to the Moon, Summer Wind and One for My Baby (And One More for the Road). Backed by a stellar band, the 85-year-old Nelson still sounds formidable.
Forecast: I predict I’m not the only one who would watch a movie called Willie Nelson vs. The Predator.