Writer still has more complaints to get off of his chest.
There has been a discernibly negative tenor to my columns of late.
After complaining about world junior hockey championship overkill, of all things, I went on a tirade against weddings.
Yes, weddings.
How can anyone be down on weddings?
Some valued readers have suggested that I be more positive. With that in mind, I will soon come out strongly in favour of puppies.
In time — perhaps as early as next week, if this column isn’t discontinued — I will write about everything that is sweet and nice and wholesome.
In the meantime, and in between time, here is another treasury of pet peeves — things that are really, really buggin’ me.
These words are, as always, affectionately dedicated to my late, great spaniel-terrier, Peeve (1984-1991). See again: Puppies.
Stupid rules. A few weeks ago in a burg far away from Regina, I saw back-to-back movies at the same theatre complex. With nearly an hour between shows, I decided to use the respite advantageously by getting some work done. One problem: My iphone6 was drained, so I searched for an electrical outlet — not an easy process — and was eventually successful. As soon as I plugged in the phone, however, a security person informed me that my behaviour was in violation of theatre policy. I was told that the theatre is “private property” and, as a result, I could not plug in my phone. Seriously? After spending $100 for two people to watch two movies and eat too much popcorn, I should at least be able to borrow a few volts.
Canada’s History television network is a dismal disappointment. Instead of airing documentaries or retrospectives, this utter waste of a cable-tv channel subjects viewer(s) to Pawn Stars, Restoration Garage and (not again!) American Pickers. At the very least, a Canadian network should show Canadian Pickers. The programming options should be unlimited and compelling but, alas, the schedule rarely provides a respite from the daily detritus.
Automatic gratuities at restaurants (except when applied to large parties, which are notoriously cheap). I am happy to leave a tip, but it should not be a given.
People who do not leave tips. Few people, if any, work harder than those who are employed by restaurants. In return, they often deal with rude or ignorant customers. There is little recourse, because management would undoubtedly frown upon an employee who was rude to the public.
People who visit a swimming pool and leave items such as noodles for the lifeguards to clean up. If you borrow an item for use while participating in leisurely aquatics, return it. It really isn’t that difficult.
Euphemisms that relate to firings, such as “relieved of his duties” and “management renewal.”
Overinflated NFL panels. Why do networks need one … two … three … four … FIVE people to handle halftime highlights?
Football players who celebrate first downs. If you are going to celebrate, at least wait until you score a touchdown. Saskatchewan Roughriders legends George Reed and Hugh Campbell had the right idea. Even after reaching the end zone, they conducted themselves with class.
See also: A defensive player who celebrates a tackle. It is your job to make a tackle. Stop acting like you just brokered world peace.
Clueless drivers who make matters even worse by not defrosting or brushing snow off the rear window. Lane? What lane?
Any hockey announcer who utters “good stick” or “compete level.” Let’s not forget “activate,” which seems to be the trendy one.
Lack of balance. Have you ever heard anyone say “bad stick”?
Canadian TV commercials during NFL telecasts.
Virtually every athlete, when fielding a question from a reporter, beginning the response with “Yeah” or “Yeah, no.” How did this start?
Awards shows. Now that January is here, we are inundated with awards shows. Who cares? Reality television. Enough. Kickoffs in the NFL. Why even bother? Just give the “receiving” team the ball on the 25-yard line and dispense with the charade of a “kickoff.” If a team wishes to attempt an onside kickoff, it could always exercise that option upon request. Do you think that could work?
Yeah, no.
Grouchy people.