A SLAM-DUNK HIT
Globetrotters’ antics never get old
The Harlem Globetrotters served up some ham and Cheese.
Brawley (Cheese) Chisholm, Kris (Hi-lite) Bruton, Jahmani (Hot Shot) Swanson, Brittany (Ice) Hrynko and associates hammed it up for an appreciative Brandt Centre crowd on Tuesday.
The gags, old and new, were a hit.
And, as usual, the perennial props known as the Washington Generals tasted defeat, this time by a 43-41 count.
Oh, the heartbreak.
If it’s any consolation to the Generals, they have defeated the Globetrotters more recently than the Toronto Maple Leafs have won the Stanley Cup. Washington last prevailed in 1971, four years after the Leafs’ most-recent title.
Oddly enough, though, the Generals’ head coach — Reginald Harrison — provided as much entertainment as any of the victorious Globies.
Playing the role of heel to perfection, WWE style, Harrison informed the masses shortly before tipoff that “we’re going to do to the Harlem Globetrotters what the Golden State Warriors should have done to the Toronto Raptors.”
At one point in the fourth quarter, Harrison visited the scorer’s table and changed the tally, magically erasing the Globetrotters’ comfortable lead with one push of a button.
Just like that, it was 37-37.
With 53.7 seconds remaining, Washington assumed a 41-39 lead, only to have the Globetrotters rally — imagine that — and score a buzzer-beating winning basket, whereupon the triumphant players signed autographs and posed for pictures.
“Close game,” one attendee told a rumpled scribe near courtside.
“That will be a column, eh?” Automatically.
After fearlessly forecasting a Globetrotters victory, one must revel in this atypical spasm of accuracy — a refreshing change from the “Saskatchewan Roughriders’ 2019 season is doomed after Zach Collaros’ concussion” and “Can Cody Fajardo throw deep?” clunkers.
(There is a reason, you see, that newspapers are used to housebreak Schnauzers.)
With greater precision, Cheese Chisholm found nothing but net during the warm-up.
And this while shooting from the stands.
Players from both sides fancied the Globetrotters’ trademark four-point lines, located 30 feet from each basket.
If the players weren’t launching long-range bombs, they were ascending to the basket for dazzling dunks.
The Generals, of course, played along — their defence being as porous as Swiss, er, Cheese. The Roughriders of 1991 also come to mind.
Rewinding considerably further, there was my introduction to the Globetrotters.
For Christmas in 1975, I received Globetrotters tickets. Accompanied by my next-door neighbour, Kevin Kleckner, an 11-year-old me ventured to antiquated Exhibition Stadium and roared at the antics of Hubert (Geese) Ausbie.
Ausbie stood at the foul line without demonstrating any intention of attempting a free throw, prompting this exchange with referee Joe Celentano. Celentano: “Shoot the ball!” Ausbie: “Huh?”
Celentano: “Shoot the ball!!!” Ausbie: “You want me to shoot the ball?”
Celentano: “Yeah!!!”
“Bang, bang,” Ausbie replied, using his thumb and index finger as a faux pistol.
Maybe you had to be there, but I loved it at the time. Still do, in fact.
Forty-some years later, the referee is still part of the act — a foil for countless jokes. And, as always, the fans are an integral part of the show.
Regina’s Jason Galon was sitting at courtside, near the Globetrotters’ bench, when he was suddenly approached by Hi-lite Bruton.
Galon then received dancing lessons from the Hi-lite, playing the role of Geese Ausbie — a basketball-court jester in the mould of Meadowlark Lemon and Goose Tatum.
“It was interesting,” a chuckling Galon said after the game.
“I was just trying not to look too silly.
“I was a little nervous at the beginning, but it was fun.”
Galon’s daughters — Hannah, 11, and Hailey, 9 — lapped it up.
“My kids really enjoyed it,” Galon said. “I was here for them. I had seen the Globetrotters 25 years ago.”
Hannah’s review? “It was funny. I liked it.”
What’s not to like?
In the midst of another interminable winter, some comic relief is always good for the soul.
Ditto for the heartwarming scenes, such as the sight of a little girl named Avery spinning a couple of red, white and blue basketballs, with assistance from the Globetrotters.
Another young fan, named Mason, attempted free throws while blindfolded — “shoot the ball!” — and, when he finally connected, there was a thunderous roar.
Mason then strutted to centre court, mimicking his new friends from the Globetrotters, and flexed his biceps.
Ultimately, the well-established muscle of the Globetrotters’ brand also prevailed.
As for the Washington Generals, well, better luck on Thursday in Penticton.