JUST IMAGINE THE INCOME IF CFL WERE TO ADD ADS
The Canadian Football League cannot afford a two-and-out.
A second successive cancelled season could have grave consequences for the CFL, which is facing the greatest threat to its existence in a quarter-century — and, debatably, ever — as a result of COVID -19.
With the league and its nine teams foraging for revenues that will enhance the overall stability and perhaps allow for at least a semblance of a 2021 season to be played, outside-the-box thinking is warranted.
In fact, it may be the only hope.
We are seeing various forms of innovation — desperation, even — in other sports, as evidenced by the helmet ads that are now on display in the NHL.
The concept of athletes as moving billboards is hardly foreign to the CFL, which introduced uniform patches long before the pandemic, but so much more can and should be done.
With that in mind, we not-so-humbly recommend a surefire money-maker — product placement and promotion within interviews.
Football being a copycat sport, it should be emphasized that there is a precedent. Consider this comment uttered by quarterback Peyton Manning during an interview with CBS reporter Tracy Wolfson after the Denver Broncos downed the Carolina Panthers 24-10 in the 2016 Super Bowl.
“I'm going to drink a lot of Budweiser tonight, Tracy, I promise you that,” Manning said after Wolfson asked whether the legendary quarterback had played his final NFL game.
Now, what's good enough for a gridder of Manning's stratospheric stature should surely suffice for CFL luminaries such as Cody Fajardo (Saskatchewan Roughriders), Bo Levi Mitchell (Calgary Stampeders), Willie Jefferson (Winnipeg Blue Bombers), Mike Reilly (B.C. Lions) and Brandon Banks (Hamilton Tiger-cats).
Banks, people! Is he not a walking, talking endorsement for a financial institution?
Even without a ready-made surname, the possibilities are seemingly infinite.
Media: “Talk about your touchdown.”
Receiver: “TD? It offers a wide range of financial services to millions of Canadians. Like TD, a lot of credit is in order to our quarterback, who put the ball right on the money. I was lucky to be able to cash in.”
Media: “You certainly seemed to be open on that play.”
Receiver: “I'm like 7-Eleven — open 24 hours a day!”
Media: “On your first touchdown …”
Receiver: (Audible harrumphing.) “TD.”
Media: “… the defence jumped offside, effectively giving you a free play. How advantageous was that?”
Receiver: “I owe it all to our quarterback. He kept changing the cadence and making the defensive linemen jump. He'd go `Pizza Hut Hut-hut Hut-hut!' It worked like a charm — the kind you would find at Gretchen's Jewellers. If you act now, there's a great deal on gold bracelets. Buy 623, get one free.”
Media: “How important was it to win the turnover battle?”
Receiver: “Huge. Just ask the good people at Donut Delight, which has owned the market for generations. Our kick-coverage teams really made the difference. I don't know what it was, but their guys kept muffin one punt after another. Talk about Butterfingers!”
Media: “When's the last time you saw such a comedy of errors?”
Receiver: “Probably in college, when I was at USC. Speaking of Trojans ...”
Moderator: “Next question !!!!! ”
Media: “If there was a disappointing element to today's game, it had to be the crowd. The weather was optimal. The game was entertaining, with first place at stake …”
Receiver: “The best steak is at
The Keg. See you tonight.”
Media: “… so why were only 11,000 people in the stands for a game of such magnitude?”
Receiver: “I'm not sure why interest is low, but it might have something to do with your financial planner. Marvin M. Bezzler has been handling all my money since I broke into the league. For clients big and small, he'll do it all. Just give him a call.” (Audible jingle.)
Media: “The crowd did come to life near the end of the game, when you marched for the winning score.”
Receiver: “That was the smoothest drive since I purchased my 1975 Impala at Rocco's Used
Cars. Like the boss says, `We stand behind our product. We'll push it out of the car lot for you.'”
Media: “How did it feel when your quarterback scored on the five-yard run that ultimately decided the game? He really sold out on that touchdown run, diving for the goal line and landing just inside the pylon.”
Receiver: “We knew he would do whatever it takes and, if need be, will us to victory. He puts his body on the line every week and never takes the Safeway out. The first thing I thought, honestly, after he scored was, `I'm really excited to go get a corn dog.' ”
Naaaaah ... that would never happen.
Outside-the-box thinking is warranted. In fact, it may be the only hope.