CFL'S Global Draft was a complete and utter waste of time
At this time of year, when basement-dwelling devotees of the NFL are immersing themselves in mock drafts, the irresistible inclination here is to mock the draft.
The CFL'S global draft, after all, is not be taken seriously.
Nonetheless, the four-round (cue canned laughter) event (audible guffaws) took place Thursday, when 36 chosen ones realized their childhood dreams of moving one step closer to playing Canadian professional football and perhaps tripping over Gainer The Gopher. Actually, “playing” is a gross exaggeration.
Consider the case of Mexican offensive lineman Rene Brassea, who suited up for 17 regular-season games with the Saskatchewan Roughriders in 2019.
Brassea, whom the Roughriders were obligated to dress due to a league-issued decree that each team must have at least one global player on its “active” roster, was an ornamental presence.
His number: 31.
No, that isn't Brassea's jersey number. That's his age!
Yes, dear reader, the Roughriders' roster includes a “prospect” — No. 63, for the record — who, by the end of the 2021 season, if there is a 2021 season, and nobody knows if there will be a 2021 season, but they're still conducting a global draft, anyway, will be 32. (Cough.)
This is what can happen when the CFL, as part of its tangential global initiative, mandates that teams must reserve a roster spot for someone who, in most cases, is as likely to appear in a game as the guy in Section 115 with a watermelon on his head and acid reflux in his esophagus.
Earth to CFL: If there must be a token position, why not set it aside for a Canadian quarterback? But that would be sensible, progressive and reflective of a genuine commitment to Canadian football, so the CFL doesn't want any part of that.
Instead, we get the global draft. Hold on. The CFL touts it as the Global Draft — emphasis on capital letters — so this must be big ... er, Big. BIG!
With all due respect to Roughriders general manager Jeremy O'day, who was dutybound to participate in Thursday's exercise, I would have made the following selections in the 2021 Global Draft:
Round 1: Allison Bamford. Round 2: Taylor Shire.
Round 3: Ian Duffy.
Round 4: David Baxter.
For the uninitiated, those four individuals are valued employees of Global Regina.
It isn't much of a joke when you have to explain the punch line.
Guilty as charged, Your Honour. (See again: capital letters. Capital Letters, people! This is Important Stuff.)
Now, we have been told by various CFL mouthpieces that the second crop of international draftees is bigger, faster, stronger and better than the introductory group.
But here's what we haven't been told ...
■ Whether these coveted Global
players will actually have a chance to become sideline statues in 2021. Will there be games? If so, when?
■ What, exactly, is up with the CFL-XFL talks.
■ Anything about the state of negotiations with the federal government.
■ Anything of substance, period.
Alternatively, we are fed indigestible Pablum about a Global Draft and its glorified mannequins, at a time when the league is encountering a world of problems that demand attention.
Just as laughably, many members of media organizations play along with this pointless process by dedicating precious time and space to a story or a column on that very topic.
See again: Guilty as charged, Your Honour.