14 Ways We Could Fail at BDSM


Tie you up with silly string. Let it melt.

Whip you with a fan belt and ex­pect you to rev.

Overem­pha­sis on techne; much fuss, much muss.

Truss you like a turkey. (You’re veg­e­tar­ian.)

Tell you I’m sup­pose[b]ly a top. (You’re also a gram­mar­ian.)

Tell me you don’t even like kiss­ing be­fore our lips have bled.

Stop wan­der­ing when we’ve fi­nally nailed down a sec­ond-best bed.

Cut up our re­spec­tive DSM en­tries into sex­ual prompts and draw from a hat— wait, that might be hot. Dada. For­get that trau­mas trans­mo­grify sud­denly—crack of an in­vis­i­ble whip.

For­get that a mother can fa­ther-fig­ure a fla­grant fag.

Dish­wash the cheap plas­tic purple ball gag. Let it melt.

Sound off like greedy ba­bies de­nied the long lovely latch.

Strike us not against a brick wall. For­get that’s how we match.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Canada

© PressReader. All rights reserved.