Options somewhat limited with self-destructive nephew

Dear Annie: My 20-year-old nephew has been a troubled youth, despite all the attempts of his family to help him, including counselling and rehab. When he was 18, he became involved with a messed-up 14-year-old girl who used drugs, alcohol and sex to get her way.

A year ago, my nephew’s family moved out of state, but last fall he reconnected with the old girlfriend via Facebook. The girl’s father bought my nephew a plane ticket to come visit. She is now a spoiled 17-year-old dropout who refuses to get a job. Worse yet, while visiting, my nephew also reconnected with all their former drugusing “friends.”

My nephew is now back with his family, but the girl constantly texts and calls. It seems she is planning to run away and join him. His family is furious. They hadn’t known about the plane ticket and never wanted him involved with this girl. They are trying to get him back into rehab, but he refuses to do anything to help himself. Any ideas? — Florida Dear Florida: It is terribly sad when a child is so self-destructive that you can only sit and watch. But your nephew is a legal adult, and there isn’t much the family can do to change his behaviour. Please urge them to seek counselling, or connect with a support group for families of people with addictions to drugs.

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