Try to live good life in spite of wife
Dear Annie: I read the letter from “Omaha, Neb.,” whose wife is grossly overweight. He says he wants to grow old with her. You said, “What woman could resist that?” My wife of 28 years, that’s who. My wife says she doesn’t want to outlive me because she would be too devastated by the loss. She has stated that she doesn’t really care about her weight, lack of exercise or eating habits, so if she dies, it’s all for the better.
She eats voraciously, binge-drinks, and doesn’t exercise beyond getting out of bed to sit in her recliner. She also smokes. She has no strength or stamina, plus she has back, hip, leg and foot problems, and sleep apnea. She’s on multiple medications and lies to her doctor about what she eats and how little she moves around. She won’t see a counsellor. And our sex life? Fuhgeddaboudit.
If I say, “Let’s take a walk,” she says, “I’m too tired.” If I say, “You’re killing yourself,” her answer is, “I don’t care.” We own a treadmill and a stationary bike, both nice clothes hangers. I love my wife, but she’s difficult to be with. I hope she reads this. She sure isn’t paying attention to me. — Given Up Hope Out East
Dear Just: We aren’t buying your wife’s reasoning. We think she has given up on living a healthy life because the amount of work required is overwhelming. But she also is putting tremendous strain on you. You cannot fix this. She must want to do it herself. So make sure she has a legal will and that her funeral wishes are written down for you. Then let her do what she wants. You need to live the best life you can while she lets hers slowly fade away.
Dear Annie: “Sleepless” seems very concerned about absolving his co-worker of the wrongdoing of having accepted his money for sex several years ago. But his actions were equally as immoral and embarrassing. For some reason, this long-ago encounter was memorable for him, but I doubt it meant much to her. She probably doesn’t remember him. She certainly isn’t carrying around a letter to him. This woman has moved on. I don’t believe he intends to make her feel better. I think he wants to humiliate her to soothe his own guilt. — Ohio