Scarlett gets brainy, Rock gets revenge
“You don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows,” Bob Dylan sang. But these days, a guide through the seemingly endless flurry of pop culture offerings is just what we need. With that in mind, here is what’s on the radar screen in TV, music and film for the coming week.
MOVIES
Big Releases: Friday: Hercules; Lucy
Big Picture: Hercules is the role Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson was born to play. The actor oozes as much charisma as he does testosterone, and never takes himself too seriously — essential skills when playing an ancient, perpetually shirtless half-god. In ancient Greece, when someone says: “You cannot deny what you are, the gods will punish you for it,” it typically means you’re about to get a major smackdown from Olympus.
Hell hath no fury like a demi-god scorned after a threeheaded beast from Hades kills Herc’s true love (making the loss more poignant, she happens to be played by a Russian supermodel named Irina Shayk). As our hero proves, vengeance is a dish best served ... shirtless.
Meanwhile, Lucy is brought to us by French director Luc Besson. He had me at Scarlett. Johansson plays a sexy drug mule chemically transformed into a sexy, violent superhuman. While humans use 10 per cent of their brain, Scarlett’s Lucy is rapidly closing in on 100 per cent — a process that sees her combat skills vastly improve (she could take out the entire Avengers team blindfolded) and may help her unlock the secrets of the universe. Morgan Freeman co-stars.
Forecast: Hercules battles giant lions, giant wild boars, giant hydras, giant armies and giant schmaltz. The Rock pulls it off with aplomb. But the real treat is the art-house action flick, Lucy, which bares a side of Johansson you’ve never seen before. As her powers become increasingly godlike, not even Hercules would stand a chance. (Note to universe: I would be fine with Scarlett as a future deity).
Honourable Mention: And So It Goes
Michael Douglas plays a cantankerous, irascible, rich SOB who is unceremoniously burdened with the care of his estranged granddaugh- ter. Of course, the youngin’ and his witty neighbour (Diane Keaton) — i.e. romantic interest — help him learn the true meaning of life. It’s like Scrooge without the ghosts — and more flirting.
TV
Big Events: July 22, Food Fighters (NBC); July 21, Sky Jumpers (History)
Big Picture: The cooking show and game competition worlds collide! Food Fighters features amateur cooks competing against five pro- fessional chefs. The pros are asked to make the contestant’s signature dish, or “family recipe,” better than them.
A dinner party of average Americans make up judge, jury and tastebud testers. (I’m wondering if my secret recipe: Bacon-wrapped ham, double-wrapped baloney sandwiches could net me a spot on the show?). Meanwhile, Sky Jumpers is a new documentary about a daredevil skydiving team, including Canadian pro Jay Moledzki.
Forecast: I’m hoping someone from Colonel Sanders’s family participates in Food Fighters, so we can finally find out the secret ingredient in KFC (fingers crossed it’s chicken). My future prediction? This week’s two premières will spark a “eureka moment” for some network executive. By next summer, we will have skydiving chefs in a cooking competition requiring them to create a dish while in free fall.
MUSIC
Big Releases: July 22: Alvvays (Alvvays); Common (Nobody’s Smiling)
Big Picture: Common took a break from playing a cowboy on AMC’s Hell on Wheels to head back into the studio. His new effort, Nobody’s Smiling, is built around collaborations with Chicago’s hip-hop community, including Dreezy, King Louie and Lil Herb (which is possibly the least intimidating hip-hop name of alltime). Meanwhile, Toronto’s Alvvays debut a brand of dreamy surf-pop that captures the whimsy, nostalgia, energy and spontaneous joy of summer. Reverb, fuzzy guitars and Molly Rankin’s plaintive, unadorned vocals conjure up magic.
Try not to be enchanted by the track Archie, Marry Me. Coincidentally, I recently posted a song to YouTube called Scarlett, Marry Me. (Don’t tell my wife.)
Forecast: Common’s aim is Nobody’s Smiling. Alvvays will leave everybody smiling.