Champion returns after long battle with addiction
Former Saskatchewan Marathon champion Tarrant Crosschild woke up in hospital after trying to hang himself, and was about to leave and try again.
It was April 21, 2014, but now seems like a lifetime ago, he said. With the unwavering love of his wife, Celeste, and a 12-month exile to a residential rehab program, Crosschild has overcome a nearly decade-long alcohol and gambling addiction. His love for running has returned and he plans to toe the line at the Saskatchewan Marathon Sunday to celebrate the start of his new life.
“It just seemed suitable to gear up several years — and several stories — later,” he said.”
A 21-year-old Crosschild entered the 1998 Saskatchewan Marathon a week before on a whim. The gun sounded and he jogged at a leisurely pace, chatting with fellow runners. He passed the halfway point well back of the leaders, which included former champion and provincial record holder Jim Jasieniuk. Then a light went on in his head. He realized his legs weren’t hurting. His lungs weren’t burning. He decided to go for it.
“I was getting scared when I started catching up to people. I thought, ‘Should I be here?’ ” he said in an interview shortly after the race.
He ran the second half a full six minutes faster than the first and won comfortably. Most observers believed Crosschild had the potential to run even faster. But he never did.
Life was good for a while. He met Celeste, a top marathon runner herself. They had the first of four kids, and his tiling company had more work than he could accept.
But after work, he began to head to the bar with increasing regularity. Then he discovered the lure of VLTs and the casino. He was able to balance heavy drinking and gambling with work for a while, but running no longer mattered.
Eventually, his addictions caused the business to fail. In the period leading to his suicide attempt, he’d drink all night at the bar or alone in the basement. Crosschild would pass out or hide in the morning when the kids woke up for school.
Celeste would get the kids ready and then head to work herself. He’d drink all day and then head out at night, repeating the cycle.
“If I didn’t drink 30 beer, it wasn’t a normal day,” he recalled.
Crosschild’s most painful memories of the period are of his children begging him to come to their soccer and hockey games or guitar lessons.
He loved Celeste and the kids, but several times told Celeste to leave him. She refused.
“My wonderful wife has stuck with me all these years. She’s been so supportive — my best friend,” he said. “She knew the real person I truly was and am.”
Celeste said it was difficult to hold her family together and to watch her husband trapped in his addictions. She always held out hope.
“When you love someone ... I signed on for good times and bad,” she said.
At that time, though, Crosschild was so ashamed of what he’d become and what he’d forced his wife and kids to endure. He decided to end his life.
He tried to hang himself. When that didn’t work, he swallowed handfuls of extra strength painkillers and washed them down with alcohol.
As soon as he awoke in hospital, he started talking to God. Not a spiritual person at the time, Crosschild asked for a sign to continue living. None seemed to come, so he resolved to try suicide again. He was writing a note to Celeste and planned to leave it on his hospital night stand when a nurse sat down beside him.
During their conversation, she suggested he try Teen Challenge, a faith-based rehabilitation program outside the city. He didn’t like the religion aspect, but admitted this was the sign he sought. He talked to Celeste and she encouraged him to try it. He was accepted less than a week later.
For several weeks, Crosschild had no contact with the outside world.
“I kept thinking I was missing all the kids’ activities, but I realized I never went to them anyway,” Crosschild said.
During the 12 month program, they gradually re-introduced the healthy elements of his old life. He began to understand the addiction, as well as his role as a father and husband. They also encouraged him to start running again.
Crosschild graduated from Teen Challenge May 2. He reopened his business, Enjoy Tile, on May 4. He’s helping to mentor other recovering addicts and plans to become a regular volunteer for Teen Challenge. And this Sunday, he’s planning to return to the marathon.
He won’t be battling the leaders or setting any records. He just hopes to feel that joy again and show his family how far he’s come.
“I feel very positive. I have a very wonderful wife and four kids. I have a job that I love. I’ve been able to help others,” he said.
Training for the race was important, but his proudest moment came last week.
“I went to the parent-teacher interview. They were pretty surprised to see me,” Crosschild said.
Celeste said it’s great to have him present again in their lives and to raise the kids as a “team”.
“It was hard watching the slow downward spiral. I’m so happy to have him back. The kids are, too.”