PARENTS SHOULD DEVELOP TRUST WITH TEENS, NOT SNOOP IN THEIR PHONES

This power struggle over cellphone privacy may cause good kids to rebel.

Grade 9 students in the Collective Voice program at Aden Bowman Collegiate share their lives and opinions through columns. Selected columns run weekly in the Saskatoon Star Phoenix.

The cellphone is a teenager’s digital diary. Is it OK for a parent to read their child’s diary? If someone read your diary or went through your cellphone, would you feel that your privacy had been invaded?

According to a study done by MediaSmarts, a Canadian education website, 85 per cent of Grade 11 students have a cellphone and 51 per cent admit to sleeping with their cellphone on to stay connected. In a 2010 Pew Research study, 98 per cent of parents agreed that the main reason for their child to have a phone is to stay connected to the parent no matter where the child is.

Parents and teens often struggle to find the appropriate balance of privacy and freedom when it comes to cellphones. Caroline Knorr, parenting editor at Common Sense Media, says parents need to recognize that kids “believe that their phones are sacred and private;” however, 43 per cent of parents admit to monitoring and checking their teen’s phone and another 35 per cent are doing it without their teen’s knowledge.

Parents may worry that their teen’s cellphone increases the risks of stranger danger, sexting, cyber bullying and leaving a negative social media footprint. According to TxtWatcher, an app that allows parents to see their kids’ communications, only four per cent of teen texts involve sexual/adult content, only two per cent contain pictures and another two per cent of teens’ communications involve references to drugs. So why are parents so paranoid and feeling the need to snoop though their teens’ phones?

This power struggle over cellphone privacy may cause good kids to rebel; some say “overprotective parents raise the best liars.” If you knew a parent would read your diary, would you write personal information in it?

According to the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, 70 per cent of mental health problems begin during childhood or adolescence. Teens struggling with anxiety, depression, gender identity or other stressors may need parental support. Invading a diary is a breach of trust and would not contribute to a solution to these issues, so why go through their phone?

Fortunately, my parents give me lots of privacy and freedom with my cellphone, so I feel less pressured to sneak around them. Rather than snooping in their teens’ phones, parents should focus on developing a good relationship with their teens, built on open communication, trust and mutual respect.

There may be a point where it’s OK to spy on your child, but this should not be done lightly. Parents can contribute to their teens’ online security by first keeping their teens aware of hazards and discussing boundaries and acceptable behaviour while online before resorting to intrusive or spying behaviour.