Gabby ‘Gert’ needs chat time

This column was originally published in 2012.

Dear Annie: My wife, “Gert,” and I are in our mid-80s, retired and in good health. Gert worked for the same company for nearly 40 years and was well liked. She still goes back to visit every Wednesday and sits in the coffee room and gabs all day with the workers when they take their staggered breaks. I can’t help but think this has a tendency to lengthen break times and disrupt productive company time. If I were the manager, I would not allow this, but he doesn’t interfere.

My main concern, though, is that this habit interferes with our being able to get away together for a few days during the week when hotel rates are lower and traffic is lighter than on weekends. I have asked Gert to stop this practice, but she refuses. Am I selfish to think she should spend more time with me so we can plan and enjoy mutual activities during the time we have left in this life? — Husband

Dear Husband: Well, no, but this activity gives her a great deal of pleasure, and it would be considerate of you to work around it. In fact, she might resent your forcing the issue, in which case, those little vacations won’t be as much fun as you’d like. And perhaps if you stop pressuring her to spend more time travelling during the week, she’d be more willing to do so on occasion, especially if you give her plenty of notice to rearrange her office schedule. Be supportive of her emotional needs, and hopefully, she will be equally supportive of yours. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column.