Retirement turns husband into monster

Originally published in 2012.

Dear Annie: Not too long ago, my life with my husband was perfect: great marriage, good kids, well established in our community and a fantastic sex life. Three years ago, at the age of 49, my husband retired after a 30-year career in law enforcement. He retired with no plans, hobbies, friends or passions. Now our life is hell.

Four months before his retirement, my husband became stressed, and his entire personality changed. He has periods of obnoxious highs, but most days are violent lows. He sleeps 12 hours a day, has gained more than 50 pounds and complains constantly of health issues (although numerous doctor visits show nothing). He slams doors, throws things, is verbally abusive and makes threats of violence.

I quit my job in my mid-20s to be an at-home mom. He threatens to cut me off financially and reminds me it’s his car, his home, his money. I love my husband deeply, but cannot stand the monster he’s become. Want My Husband Back Dear Want: Your husband may be bipolar, his retirement may have triggered severe depression or his anxiety may have pushed him over the edge. He needs professional assistance. His behaviour sounds abusive. Since he seems willing to see a physician, notify the doctor in advance of your husband’s behavioural issues.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column.