Show your parents this letter
Originally published in 2013.
Dear Annie: I am a 19-year-old heroin addict striving toward recovery. I go to five Narcotics Anonymous meetings a week, but I have occasional setbacks. After the most recent incident, I left drug paraphernalia in the bathroom. I took full responsibility and was ashamed and disgusted with myself. But the first thing my mother said was, “Did you leave that out on purpose so your sister could find it and start experimenting ? She’s only 13!”
Annie, my sister is anti-drugs, and I talk to her a lot about the subject. I believe openness and honesty are the keys to avoidance, and I will do everything I can to save her from making the same mistakes I have made.
My parents will never understand addiction, but I wish they would try a little harder. I have repeatedly asked them to come to one NA meeting. I wrote them a three-page letter explaining the importance of my going to meetings and how valuable their support would be to me.
I arranged for people to talk to my parents so they could ask questions that might be too uncomfortable to ask me directly, but they had no interest. They discourage me from attending meetings, and when I brought home literature from NA for them, they left it on the floor, and the dog chewed it up.
I am heartbroken and need their support so much. Fighting my addiction is hard and scary, and instead of helping, they attack. I don’t know what else I can do. Begging for Mummy and Daddy
Dear Begging: Your parents are frightened — for you and for your sister — and they also don’t trust you.
Getting off of hard drugs is a difficult process, and we commend your efforts.
Your parents’ support is important. But if your setbacks include using drugs in their home and leaving paraphernalia in plain sight, it contributes to their anger.
Would your parents help with the cost of a reputable rehab facility?
The Salvation Army also offers a program.
You are making progress, but it is often beneficial to be separated from the culture that contributes to your drug use. Please show your parents this letter, and tell them you wrote it. We hope it helps. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column.