Seek help for aimless son
Originally published in 2013.
Dear Annie: My 22-year-old son, “Nick,” spends most of his time playing video games. He was fired from several jobs last year because he stopped showing up. We had no idea.
We finally kicked him out. It was the hardest decision of my life. He lived with various relatives and friends until he started lying to them about work. Nick is now at his father’s, who lets him stay rent-free, contributing nothing.
I managed to get Nick to see a psychiatrist briefly. I went along to make sure he told the truth, but as soon as the therapist wanted him to continue on his own, he cancelled the next appointment, saying the therapist didn’t do anything but ask him questions.
I am concerned that Nick will do something drastic, like harm himself. When I brought it up, he said he would never do that. But he’s alone so much and seems so aimless. Is there anything I can do besides pray? Worried Mom in Alabama
Dear Mom: There are a lot of possibilities to consider: Might Nick be drinking or using drugs? Is he addicted to video games and cannot tear himself away? Is he depressed? And, of course, there is the lazy factor, in that he has a place to stay, rent-free, and is not required to do anything at all, including grow up.
The fact Nick is alone and aimless doesn’t make him suicidal, but it can feed on itself and make him more lethargic. And the longer he’s without work, the harder it will be to find the next job. Please see whether you can get Nick to see a doctor for a checkup. Then talk to your ex-husband about your next step.
Dear Annie: I’m very frustrated. My daughter is graduating soon, and I sent out invitations for a party, leaving an RSVP with my phone number. Catering is expensive, and I was hoping the guests would call me to tell me whether they are able to attend. So far, only two people have responded. Out of 40.
A few years ago, I ordered food for 300 guests, only to have 70 people show up, resulting in a lot of food being thrown away. But another time, I ordered for 100 people, and we ran out of food because 150 came. Please tell your readers not to ignore an RSVP. It’s there for a reason. Frustrated.
Dear Frustrated: This is an ongoing frustration for many of our readers. Of course people should have the decency to respond to invitations in a timely manner. Your only recourse, sorry to say, is to call each person and ask whether he or she is planning to attend.