Remember the good times

Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for more than 50 years and once had a very enjoyable and compatible sex life, even though my husband didn’t want any children and refused to discuss it.

After 27 years of wedded bliss, my husband had major surgery. He developed erectile dysfunction and became afraid of dying. Our sex life ended. But he was depressed and began drinking heavily.

Recently, while going through some paperwork, I came across a handwritten note with a great deal of sexual innuendo, and it was not directed at me. This totally shocked me. The note was written about 10 years ago. I asked him to explain the note, and of course, he denied he wrote it and became very agitated, claiming he always has been faithful in our marriage. After being an understanding wife all of these years, I now question whether he can be trusted. What should I do? He will never go to a marriage counsellor.

Upset in Illinois

Dear Upset: This note is 10 years old and doesn’t say very much. Your husband is not likely to admit to anything, and in fact, there may be nothing to confess. Either forgive his failings and concentrate on the good marriage you claim to have had, or get into counselling for yourself and decide what your next move is.

We think the note is not evidence of a betrayal and you should let it go.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column