The satisfying job of designated driver
Caring friend and hero wins praise and perks,
During the holiday season, many of us enjoy getting into the Christmas spirits. You know, spirits like vodka, bourbon and rum. But, do you get behind the wheel after knocking back a few rum and eggnogs?
Well, Santa can see you when you’re drinking and driving and it’s a lump of black coal for anyone dumb enough to risk their own life or someone else’s. Crashes involving drugs or alcohol killed 43 people and injured 359 others in Saskatchewan in 2018. Don’t be the Grinch that ruined Christmas.
A Saskatoon holiday tradition has been to wait outside for a cab after your Christmas party, in -30 C, dressed up instead of dressed for winter. Avoiding this predicament has caused many poor drinking and driving decisions.
That tradition should be done in 2019, with cabs and ride sharing apps finally providing enough transportation for all. There’s no longer any excuse to drive after a few wobbly pops. However, if you’re on a budget, or just cheap, there’s the classic standby — the designated driver, the caring friend and hero that carts your drunk butt around all night.
Being the designated driver, the DD, is a great responsibility and you should plan accordingly. While I can give you tips like “most bars will give you free Cokes,” a good DD knows that controlling the situation is about more than driving. It’s about being the emotional anchor of the group. You’re the mother, the father, the priest, the psychologist — and especially, the babysitter. Inebriated people are quite entertaining — until they’re not. You’re herding cats. You need to make sure these people get in the car safely. Tasers and cattle prods are helpful, but generally frowned upon.
Like a heist, you want to keep the crew tight. Know the players and how they’ll react after the liquor starts flowing. There’s the morose friend who got dumped at Christmas and might wander off to die alone in the snow. There’s the fighty one who takes offence to everything everyone says and wants to start a barroom brawl. There’s the party girl or guy who’s looking for love and will disappear to pull tongue with a boozy stranger. Sure, you could let them go and you’d have one less person to drive home, but this is about the responsibility of friendship.
The rules for the car are simple: Drive defensively and minimize the distractions. That’s easier said than done. It’s near impossible to text and drive, but driving with due care and attention is even harder when Sally is bawling about her ex, John is giving the finger to the guy in the next car, and Janet’s backwards in her seat, laughing and screaming with her butt in your face. I’d also keep some barf bags in the car for Bill, who can’t handle his liquor.
Use the car stereo to your advantage. Music doth soothe the savage beasts. They who
Inebriated people are quite entertaining — until they’re not. You’re herding cats. You need to make sure these people get in the car safely.
control the music, control the emotional arc to the night. Start out optimistic with some party music, keep ’em happily distracted with a Stones hit while they’re plastered, but don’t be afraid to mellow them out with something more reflective and downtempo.
Soon enough, you’ll have them safe at their doors. Extra points for tucking them in.
Unless you’re a teetotaller, being the designated driver isn’t that fun, but there are perks. The drunks will pay for your poutine at the end of the night. You’ll hear a lot of, “Aw, this guyyy … (hiccup) … I lurve this guy.”
Best of all, you can bask in the glow of your own self-satisfaction — you’re saving Christmas! Oh, and enjoy your hangover-free day after.